Feeling betrayed - anyone had a similar experience

Louise - posted on 04/08/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I am writing this as it would be good to get an outsiders perspective. I may even be told that I am being very pathetic but its just how I feel and I don't know how to proceed.

I am a very loyal friend - Or at least I like to think I am :-) I have a relationship with a best friend, we are very good friends but don't always share everything ...we aren't either of us particularly deep so we jog along just fine - (we've been friends for over 25years) grown up together through school and have children similar ages.

now to the real story. we have another friend who has been in and out of our lives for about 10years and is pretty flakey she has missed numerous birthdays/special occasions because of her obsession with men and has really only just come back into our lives. here's the problem, she's been asked to be godparent not me, now this isn't my god given right, but what makes this situation worse is that I found out 3months after this rather wonderful title was awarded and by text. I have always felt competition from the flakey friend and now feel totally betrayed by my good friend + it seems a few of our friendship group knew before me too. Still with me? i havent spoken to my good friend for a number of months now, she's txt occasionally but not made any further contact its almost as if she wants me to make the first move in discussing it, I just feel that she could have spoken to me about it before explained to me her reasons, if she was any sort of friend she would know it would upset me and would want to do that right? Its been so long now I don't know what to do, its not in my nature or hers to talk about it - we're not really like that....

my husband says I should suck it up and talk to her, my mum says if it makes you this sad and you are happy without them why bother?

ughhh it almost just makes me feel a bit better writing it all down... but it does get me down I have cried a lot about it.


~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/08/2013




I would talk with her. Clearly she knows you would be upset, that is why it took so long for her to tell you. For whatever reason she chose the other women, that is really her business. It is hard not to be jealous, and that is exactly what is going on from my perspective. But, the betrayal is actually the problem in my eyes. Not the fact that you were not chosen, but the fact that it was hidden from you. Discuss that. Don't fight. Just let her know how that made you feel, and that she can tell you anything. Of course let her know that feelings may be hurt, but it is worth knowing. Talk to her. If she has been your friend for that long, you should be able to talk with her. The fact that you are not deeply emotional friends may be why she did not choose you in the first place. Do not make this about the other friend. Do not let this be a competition. Have it be what it is really about, the fact that she didn't feel she could talk with you.

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