Fiance attending a STAG

Tinker1987 - posted on 01/22/2012 ( 17 moms have responded )




what are you thoughts on your Fiance.boyfriend.husband attending a Stag? im normally not insecure and i give my man freedom but he is the best man for his friends wedding this summer and im getting a little worked up over it,ive never been to a stagette and he has never gone to a stag,in the past we just never gone to ones were invited too but now that he is the best man its partly an obligation,should i really be worried? do they all act like the Hangover guys??lol. looking for advice on letting it blow over without it causing a fight for us!!


Kate CP - posted on 01/22/2012




Easy question to answer:

Do you trust him? Do you trust him when he's drunk?

If you answered yes, then you have nothing to worry about and you're being paranoid. If you answered no...then you have some issues to work out.

Sarah - posted on 01/26/2012




If you trust him enough to marry him, why wouldn't you trust him enough to go to a Stag? My hubby has been to a strip club when since we've been together for Stags. I don't worry about it. I trust him. I know he's not going to cheat on me, and he came home to me afterwards. Let him have his fun with his friend and trust him that he'll come home to you.

Johnny - posted on 01/22/2012




Does your husband normally go out and act like an ass when he's with his friends? If not, the stag won't likely be any different. All of my hubby's friends have had them, and now they're all so bored with the whole thing that last time they just played a round of golf and went go-carting. It may not be as bad as you imagine.


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Keri - posted on 01/25/2012




What's a stag? A bachelor party? If so, not much "wild" stuff goes on anymore from what I know. They might go out drinking or to a strip club or something, but if he is devoted to you he'll have a good time without feeling the need to "do anything." If it's a bachelor party, even the GROOM should not be acting this way!

Sandy - posted on 01/25/2012




I have seen women at a bachelorette party behave worse than men at a bachelor (stag) party. I've seen them both at bars and strip clubs. It's usually a lot of drinking of booze, throwing up of booze that was drunk, and praying that the significant other doesn't hear about it later. Men taunt the groom about never having sex again and the horrors of married life, especially the married men. Women flirt like crazy with the groom, because he is the safest guy in the group with whom to flirt. They usually don't mean anything by it, and everyone gets a laugh from it. It is everything like a movie when they recant it to friends, but the reality is that it's little different from Friday night at the local bar on the corner. (^_^)

Irene - posted on 01/25/2012




hey i kinda have the same problem ...but now its just left me feeling a bit like like a doormat :( goes me and my partner have been together for 9 yrs engaged for 6 and planning to be married next year 2013 so my worst fear is his stag do !! we have had nothing but constant problems when it comes to online chatroom ,sexsites, texting even as close as 2 miles he added a girl ...i went mental !! ...but it seems to have developed a pattern ...nothings happened now for a few months but the majority of it happened when we moved away he put it down do boredom at work long 15hr shift etc but it completly wrecked any trust i had for him but im a fighter and i didnt want this to ruin us as i know we get on great together ...but it did ruin our great new fresh start we were supposed to have so i am so worried about when its his turn for a stag as the worst thing he has done is slept with a stripper whilst working as security at a club ...after i told him that was a no go area for us he lied a few times that he was on a shift somewhere else !! as i knew this could possibly happen i found out after a week from his mouth.. but had the sickly gut feeling the whole time so much so i never check on him etc phone calls or anything like that but this particular night i did and it was the nite he cheated he claim he didnt sleep with her but did a few other things but i know deep down its bull !! but i chose to work through it ...previous to that we had split 2 times regarding girls but it was early on in the relationship and i did meet him when he was young and very immature ie hes 17 and i was 20 so .i felt i should reply to you as this is my theory if we are about to marry i feel this is his very last chance to show his loyalty to me as he hasnt been breaking me down this whole time but making me stronger so if he does happen to go on this bender with his friends and they are the most untrustworthy guys u could meet ie out every weekend different girls etc i have my work cut out for me as he will be like their new little toy as he hasnt been out with them on his own since we got together which only makes it worse :/ anyway my theory short and simple is if he lets me down now this very very last time then ill know for sure to call the wedding off i have a pretty good instinct for sussing him out and know a crap load of warning signs so the point is ill no not to marry the guy as he will never change this will be his one chance to show me he cares and is 100% loyal to me x

Elfrieda - posted on 01/24/2012




Yeah, my husband isn't interested in strippers and getting falling-down-drunk, so I don't ever worry about it. But I would NOT be pleased if that was the plan for a bachelor party. I wouldn't "forbid" it because how can I tell a full-grown man what to do, but I would definitely make it more comfortable for him not to attend. (yes, there would be mockery)

All the ones he's attended are more along the lines of paintballing, fishing, playing pool at the bar, or launching potatoes at each other with cannons made out of pipe, hair spray, and lighters (true story - they broke a window but no bones). It sounds more fun than going out for a day at the spa and unwrapping presents, which is what the girls normally do.

I'd suggest talking to him. Ask him what he expects, and share your feelings on the matter. Hopefully you can easily come to an agreement on what he'll do if there's a compromising situation, or better yet, that there will be no reason to need an agreement.

Stifler's - posted on 01/24/2012




I coldn't care less if my husband went to a strip club. the strippers aren't interested in beer guts.

Tinker1987 - posted on 01/24/2012




Yeah i think i am over-thinking it. the groom himself really is laid back so i cant see it getting crazy,im going to suggest paintballing thats something they dont get to do... as for the bars and stripjoints i dont have much of a say. i just hope they behave in the big city.

Amanda - posted on 01/24/2012




If he's anything like my hubby he will bail out before the strip club. Even his own, my hubby was caught sneaking home before midnight.

Most stags night that my hubby has been part of have been at the races, then dinner (after he bails out) then they go to a strip club.

I have known of some where they go paint balling then to the pub

Michelle - posted on 01/24/2012




Having a few drinks and seeing the odd stripper is as bad as it usually gets. And if your okay with that then it should be fine. Let him know your concerns, but if he's not the kind to cheat he's hardly going to think 'oooohhhhh stag's night! Yay! Random sex with some stranger!'

Most guys I know play golf, or go go-karting or some such. I think the most debauched one I've heard of was a live sex show, and that was my dh! I know exactly what went on though - I've seen the photos.

Miranda - posted on 01/23/2012




My husband and I have an agreement no titty or dicky bars. Even if he is the bestman he doesnt have to be a part of something he doesnt want to be a part of. My husband is usually the DD for most because he doesnt drink. If the go to such a place he will drop them off come home then pick them up later. I totally trust him and he I. They all should respect his wishes on that part.

If he is going to a few bars and having a few drinks, unless he has priors picking up chicks then you have no reason to worry.

I didnt go to my besties girls night out because they were doing a scavanger hunt getting phone numbers, kisses and such. I wasnt comfortable with it and she totally understood. If they dont understand then they should have picked someone else to be bestman.

Stifler's - posted on 01/23/2012




Bucks nights are mandatory. I doubt that men actually get up to that much stuff unless they are filthy rich.

Tinker1987 - posted on 01/22/2012




Thanks ladies,i do trust him he works in the Oilfield and when they are in different towns,the guys will have a few drinks and see the odd Stripper so im over that, i dont think he acts like a ass, i know he can be stupid when he is falling down drunk as in not speaking right and ya falling down drunk but i dont feel he will just go to this stag and cheat on me,even though i do battle being insecure. i worry way to much for my own good. Im going to do my best too just accept it,and maybe go out with some of my girlfriends that night to take my mind off it. im sure your right it will just be one of those nights where they go out and have fun..

Michelle - posted on 01/22/2012




I wouldn't expect your Fiance to act like characters on a movie. You should know him well enough to know how he will behave.

Maybe talk to him beforehand and discuss you concerns and even set some boundaries if you feel the need to. In my experience very few stag nights turn into drunken free for all's, most of them are just a group of guys getting together for a few drinks. Nothing to worry about.

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