fiancee who hits our son

Cassandra - posted on 01/13/2018 ( 26 moms have responded )

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i have a son named blaze who is almost three. since around the time he turned two, my fiancee has been hitting him when he acts up around him. sometimes with a belt but not always. i dont know how i feel about it anymore, i dont want my baby to grow up wrong.

26 Comments

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Ev - posted on 01/20/2018

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Hitting on the hand in not a really hard manner is not abuse but if you cause pain in any area on a child that could be considered abusive. I know...I have experience in working with children in a child care facility. We were trained what to look for or if we felt suspicious about things regarding any child...we had to turn it in.

Sarah - posted on 01/20/2018

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I don't even know what you are disagreeing about...you both agree that striking a child anywhere for any reason is stupid and lazy. So what's the trouble?

Miracle - posted on 01/20/2018

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so tell me what the difference is? in every culture except white people we don't even call it spanking lmfao

Miracle - posted on 01/20/2018

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so if i hit my son on the hand, that's abusive. but I hit im on his literal private part thats not? who told you that?

Miracle - posted on 01/19/2018

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lord have mercy. ev, where you hit a kid whether on their ass (which is kinda predatory) or their face or wherever, what difference does it make? and the end of the day you are using your hand to hurt a kid. so if "hitting" anywhere but the ass is abuse, that makes no sense. hitting is hitting & it always wrong to hit a kid in these ways that mothers on here describe. i don't care where they are being hit, that is so stupid.

Ev - posted on 01/19/2018

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Regardless, Miracle, hitting kids and spanking are two different thing really.

Hitting--according to the dictionary---to deal a blow or stroke to; Syn: beat--to strike violently or forcefully and repeatedly.

Spanking--to strike (a person, usually a child) with the open hand, a slipper, etc., especially on the buttocks, as in punishment.

There is a difference--it is abuse to hit a child.

Miracle - posted on 01/18/2018

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also, ev, here's a time magazine article from 2014 that proves it legal to hit your kids in all states, even delaware. http://time.com/3379862/child-abuse/
you jus can't use a object or closed fist in delaware, so yeah. im gonna take their word over the shady site u sent. lol

Miracle - posted on 01/18/2018

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ok why would you ask if i knew what mandated reporters are? i'm not stupid. and i hate spanking i would never hit my children. i just think it's wrong to respond to mothers like this by telling them its illegal and they can get arrested and they are abusers in the eyes of the law, and it's just not true. thats never going to help anything.

Ev - posted on 01/18/2018

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Acutally, Miracle---http://kidjacked.com/legal/spanking_law....

Delaware is one such state where it is not legal to spank.

I never said I knew everything but I did work in child care for several years and was a mandated reporter...do you know that that means? I was to report anything I thought might endanger or be harmful to a child. We were given updated information at yearly training on the laws that govern children and family welfare even to the point of spanking. So I do have a bit of knowledge in this arena.

A person that thinks hitting a child for whatever reason needs to think before doing.

Sarah - posted on 01/18/2018

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Well she says "I have a son" and "my fiance" She never addresses if he is the parent or not....either way, to strike a 2-3yo at all; let alone with a belt? Stupid and cruel.

Miracle - posted on 01/17/2018

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and i think she meant this is the child's father, ev since its titled "fiancee who hits OUR son" they just arent married.

Miracle - posted on 01/17/2018

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i didnt say i knew everything, but ev said that spanking is illegal in some states and its not. even if theres limits on spanking that doesent make it illegal. thats like saying pissing is illegal cuz you cant do it in public.

Sarah - posted on 01/16/2018

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Miracle, from the article you sited...
"In all 50 states, parents are legally allowed to spank their children" This man is not the child's father. So that puts an entirely different spin on his actions. Also your article was from 2007.
In a more current article (2016) I found the following information:
"In all 50 states and the District of Columbia, you are not forbidden by law to use corporal punishment on your child as long as the form of punishment is reasonable and does not cause injury"
This quote is taken from an article about a father convicted of assault for publicly spanking his daughter in MA.
IMO why is spanking even necessary? With your hand or anything else, and as a mother; Cassandra, stand up for your child!

Ev - posted on 01/15/2018

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I LIVE IN AMERICA!!! I said so on another post and I do know for a fact that some states doe have laws that say you can not spank your child. And the state I live in states if a mark is found that is considered abuse and hitting with belts and implements should not be used.

Miracle - posted on 01/15/2018

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i think hitting with a belt is harsh for a two year old. but ev and michelle, i dont know if you live in america but here there is not strict laws about spanking at all. if the child doesent have serious injury, the police will do nothing.

Ev - posted on 01/13/2018

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There is a difference--even spanking done in a certain manner would can cause harm to a child. Hitting is not legal anywhere. It is called abuse...physical abuse and anything else is neglect. By standing by and not saying something to your fiance about hitting this child of yours, you are as much as to blame for the harm as he is.

Michelle - posted on 01/13/2018

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There is a big difference between hitting and spanking.
Hitting is illegal anywhere.
If you don't agree with spanking then let your partner know and decide on other form of punishment together. He has to agree to stop spanking though.

Ev - posted on 01/13/2018

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If he is hitting the child that is considered child abuse and he needs to be reported. Also you standing by and not doing a thing to stop it does not look good on you. He needs to know that hitting is not appropriate for a child....it scars them for life. And your not doing anything to stop it would be considered by the law as helping dad do that.

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