First time mom, son ignores me around MIL, am I doing something wrong?

Mimi - posted on 03/25/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hi moms,

So I have a confession to make. When my little son, who is now 11 months old was born, I changed a lot, and became very attached to him. Especially since I spent the whole year with him at home because I graduated from college and decided to take a break. The problem is, my mother in law is the same way!!! I had and still have a good relationship with her. I am just struggling to hide my feelings towards her. She is very pushy and wants to be too much involved in my son's life. We see her every single week end, and lately, my son became very attached to her. Whenever she is around he would ignore me and go to her. He doesn't even come to me when I ask him to!!! I might be making a big deal out of it, but this is really killing me. I never thought that I would be so annoyed by her love to him!! I did try to skip one week end and not go, but she would come over instead. I don't appreciate her presence anymore, and I feel that she is trying to do anything she can to make him love her/ attached to her. She gets so excited and happy when he rejects me. Me on the other side, I feel like crying when he does this. I just want to see if any of you moms have experienced this before. Did your baby ignore you in public or around some people? Is that even normal? Or am I doing something wrong? I'm really not trying to be mean or anything. I know that she is his grand-mother too, but these feelings are not going away.


[deleted account]

It's actually pretty normal for his age. Grandma is special, he only sees her once or twice a week, whereas he is with you every day. He is going to want to spend the time that she is available to him with her exclusively because he knows time with you is plentiful.

Also, you, being the mom, must be the disciplinarian, whereas grandma is free to spoil him as she wishes, thus, at his young age, he is going to think she's more fun. That will be annoying at first, but as he grows and matures, he will learn that your boundaries are important to him and he will crave them just as much as he craves the special grandma time. Also, your praise will start to mean a lot more to him that grandma's praise, but that can't happen if you don't let grandma dote on him some.

It is actually really great that he likes spending time with her. If his disregard for you bothers you too much, try leaving him with her for a bit while you go out and do something for yourself. You will feel refreshed, and you won't be there for him to reject you very much.

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