forced affection

Rosemarie Virone - posted on 02/28/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




I'm watching my daughter force her children, ages. 9.7.5 to hug her new boyfriend hello and good bye... Is this the right thing to do?


Liz - posted on 02/28/2013




I don't think anyone should be forced to hug someone else, child or adult. People express affection differently and not everyone does it with tactile gusto. In the situation of children being made to hug a new boyfriend, no, definitely not appropriate.

If he's in their lives long enough to make an impact and deserve the reward of emotional attachment, then they can make the decision themselves about how they recognise this.

Kristi - posted on 03/01/2013




Absolutely forcing a child to hug or kiss someone, even grandma, is like taking their power to say "no" away. They feel helpless and it is confusing because we teach them that if somebody touches them and it makes them feel "funny" they should tell a grown up right away. Yet here we are making them touch somebody else despite the fact that it still makes them feel "funny." (God forbid) The next time an adult tells them to touch him here or there or vice versa, the child will be that much easier to manipulate because mom made me do it with so and so.

Kids have got to KNOW they have the absolute right to say no. It is imperative. If they are given the power at 7 to say NO to a grown man about not wanting to be touched, it will be that much easier when he is 13 to say NO to the 15 y/o trying to get him to smoke pot.


View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms