Fostering kids

Rebecca - posted on 08/11/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )




I am looking at fostering one or two kids from the ages of 12 to 15 . I considered these ages as its closer to my 15 year old son. I wished I had at least another child as my son was so lonely when he was a toddler and even now. He used to ask me to go to the supermarket to buy a brother or sister for him. When I read the statistics on kids requiring foster care it broke my heart and living in sbigbhouse with a large yard I thought now is the time and am ready to give something back which I hope will help give a child another chance. Has anyone had experience with foster caring and do you thing the age group I have chosen is better for first tine foster parent ? Any tips / advice very welcome


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Jodi - posted on 08/12/2013




I think it is admirable to want to take on kids of this age as a foster carer, but as an educator of students this age, quite a number who are foster children or come from very difficult homes, you need to know that the children at this age in the foster care system are often "damaged". They may be very difficult and will probably come to you presenting with a number of problems, both emotional and social. You will also often find these kids present with either learning difficulties or some kind of other issues (ADHD, autism, drugs/drug affected, smoking, alcohol - yes even at this age). Not that I am doubting that you don't want to deal with this, but they aren't "normal" teens. In general, they will need far more from you emotionally that an average teen, so you really need to go into it with open eyes and understanding of the difficulties you might be facing. I'm not saying you can't make a difference, because you absolutely can. Just be fully aware of what you might be taking on.

I teach one young boy who has been through 14 foster homes. He is 12, and he is the biggest nightmare of a student, but at the same time can be incredibly sweet. However, he has the maturity of an 8 year old and an academic level that matches. His social and emotional development has been stunted, and he clearly doesn't understand acceptable social norms that most children his age do, and suffers within his peer group as a result (among other things - he has come very close to some things becoming a police matter). He has an attitude that he won't be staying long because he'll just go to another home somewhere else next term. Such a sad outlook for a child.

Michelle - posted on 08/12/2013




I think fostering is a wonderful thing to do. I have been reading a lot of books by Casey Watson. She is a foster carer in the UK but specializes in the children that "no one else wants" or are just "too difficult". It's a real eye opener into the types of problems you could encounter as a foster carer. I know it's a small number of children are like that but it shows how damaged some children are.
Good luck with it all.

Rebecca - posted on 08/11/2013




Thanks Debz
I should have added that my son now he has so many friends he forgets he is an only child ! lhe prefers me fostering young kids rather than ones close to his age but i find many people are quick to give younger kids a home but teenagers hardly ever get a second chance. Hopefully they get on with my son and he with them.

Debz - posted on 08/11/2013




Fostering is a big step and big commitment. At that age many kids have serious issues. To foster to bring a playmate for your son may not be the right motivation. However well done you for thinking of allowing a teen into your home. So many need it! There are many support sites and groups. Google your nearest.. Good luck x

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