"Good job" vs "good girl/boy"

Jennifer - posted on 05/10/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I'm new to Circle of Moms! I don't have many friends with kids and I need a mom's perspective.

My sister and I have daughters that are 2 1/2 months apart and she's telling me that saying "good girl" when my daughter accomplishes a task will hurt her self-esteem later in life. She thinks that saying "good girl" that my daughter's self-esteem is linked to her ability to do things correctly. I should be saying "good job instead. But to me, it seems saying "good job" or "good job" is the same thing? Am I wrong? Thoughts?


Jodi - posted on 05/10/2013




Actually, while perhaps she is over-analysing it, she is right. There is a difference between praising the child and praising the way they did a task. It is like the difference between saying "you are a naughty boy/girl" and "your behaviour is naughty". In the former you are identifying the CHILD as a naughty CHILD, in the latter, you are identifying that it is their BEHAVIOUR you have an issue with, not the child.

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms