Good or bad friends

Mpho - posted on 01/17/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )




My 15 year old use to have friends who are younger to him with 2/3 years from him, when he went to a secondary school the where still in primary so he got himself new friends, he started coming home at 20h00 at the age of 13. On 2008. hours b4 new year he went to a bar with this new friends that he just got,i found him dancing, i kick the hell out of him, cause a bar is a very dangerous place for a 13 yr old, he became better he change those friend and got new ones, this ones they gave him a beer to drink at the age of 14, i dont stay with him he is with my mom, she is longer consent cause she thinks she said to much. on the 26 December last year i went again to a nearest bar at around 1 oclork in the morning i was watching him drinking , and i said to him, is time to go home, and he run away, i went home he was not there, early hours of the morning i woke up, i kick the hell out of him, he is 15 why cant he behave like a boy... i change him from the school he was, and i pray to God that He come to his senses that a beer at someone who is 15 is a disgrace....


Louise - posted on 01/17/2011




I think you are handling this wrong. If you are literally kicking your son then this should stop now. Sit him down and ask him what is going on in his life. Find out why he is socialising around the bars. Then look into getting him into youth clubs or sea/air cadets. This will give him a new social cirle and something to occupy his spare time. Your son should not be out at that time of night so impose a kerfew on him and if he sticks to it then extend his time if he does not then ban him from going out altogether until he earns your trust. He is at a delicate age now so be careful he is not a child but he is not a man he is probably feeling lost himself. Don't give up on him, get to know him and guide him in a different direction.


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Iridescent - posted on 01/17/2011




Louise is exactly right. Abusing your son (if that's what is happening) will not help. He is a teen, where everything is new, rules are too strict, and hormones are wild. It is not rare for a person his age to be caught drinking; there are many old songs about it (Roger Miller - Chug A Lug, for one) and every single person I know talks about "that party" in high school. It's very typical behavior for his age, and treating him like he's terrible for engaging in it is not going to help. In addition, many countries don't have a legal drinking age, others their age is 16, 18, 19, and 21. He's right in there! A big complaint here (in the US) is that adults can legally die for their country, yet not have a beer - and it's true. While I'm not saying hand him the alcohol yourself (although that IS legal here), I am saying you need to discuss this with him, keep an open mind, and stop pushing him into doing it just to rebel against you. That will make it much more likely to cause a lot of problems, more than just drinking underage.

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