Grandson Being Kept From Me

Jane - posted on 08/08/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )




I'm struggling big time. My grandson turned three months yesterday and out of the blue my daughter is keeping him from me. I was the one that took care of her during her entire pregnancy. I took her to the ER numerous times for pre-term labor. I stayed by her side for the 30 hours of labor. I was in the room and watched this little blessing being born. He means more to me than I ever thought possible. The baby daddy was MIA the entire pregnancy until two weeks prior to birth. He convinced her to put him on the birth certificate. I don't know if it is him or her that is pulling the strings. He has said that I threaten him because he thinks my daughter would choose me over him anytime. My daughter and I were inseparable for the first 6 weeks. Then she started getting nasty. She would ask me to keep the baby for the entire weekend. I had him the entire 4th of July weekend. Following my visits, I would get nasty messages about messing up his schedule. I would hold him and she would bark at me that I wasn't holding him right (um she's 20 and still alive I think I know how to hold a baby- after all I was the one that taught her!), she would complain we don't feed him right. My husband (her stepfather) let her stay in his house in town, only asking for her to pay the electricity. He did request that there be no parties at the house. Her baby daddy and her started out there, and she ended up kicking him out because he wasn't helping with the baby at all. She claims she has to beg him to feed or change the baby and he refuses to help her at night. Now she is living more at the baby daddy's house than at our rental and she was using the house as an animal haven. There was cat litter than hadn't been cleaned for weeks, a big bag of dirty diapers at the door (inside) that sat there for over a month, random dirty diapers around the house, dog crap on the floors, and spoiled exploded milk all over the hard wood floors and her attempt to clean that was to throw a towel over it - making the towel stick to the floor. My husband finally requested her to clean it up and move in fully with the baby daddy because his house literally smells like a sewer. Last weekend I lost my wallet. We all had gone on a trip and I was trying to retrace my steps. I had called to see if she had seen it, she said no, was talking to baby daddy and abruptly said I gotta go, bye. On the way into town, I contacted all of the stores that I could have possible left it at. No luck. My husband suggests we stop and check the diaper bag just to mark it off the list. My daughter can lose her phone while she's talking on it and her idea looking for anything is short of ideal. On top of the fact that it was mine and had no impact on her. So we stopped by and kindly asked the baby to take a second look. He went through the diaper bag, we did not. Next thing I know I get a text message from my daughter that she is upset with me. She claims it is disrespectful to stop by her baby daddy's house (the place she lives) unannounced. What?!?! Well upon the request for her to move out, we received a message at 4am about how we are control freaks and we can no longer see Kaden until we respect them because we HAVE to. Let me mention that my own mother is in the middle of this as well causing nothing but turmoil. The only explanation I can come up with is she is coddling her so she isn't banned from the baby. I'm so devastated. I NEVER expected this from her. She did get on anti-depressants about 6 weeks ago. She said they made her numb and the next thing I knew she was living with her baby daddy. She started to get migraines and said the anti-depressants were giving them to her so she stopped without doctor advice. I don't know if this is Post-pardom or what. I live in Colorado, and there is no grandparents rights in this state. We can smoke dope, but have no rights to grandbabies. I don't know how to handle this at all.


Michelle - posted on 08/08/2016




I personally would give her space. The more you push to see your Grandchild, the further away you could push her.
She sounds like she needs help but she is the only one that can get it. She has to want help first.
I understand it's hard but you don't want to make things worse.

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