Grown adults spreading lies and rumors about my daughter. I need advice please help?

Jessica - posted on 10/10/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




This is gonna be long and may be confusing, but please read I really need advice. I have a 13 year old daughter she is my only child. We are very close and have a good relationship. She's mature responsible respectful caring,makes good decisions, well mannered and gets good grades. Now don't get me wrong I am not one of them parents that believe my child is perfect and does no wrong. Trust me I know she is not she has her days. At times she can be stubborn spoiled rude have an attitude argue not listen and be moody, but she's a good kid and a typical teenager. She has broken my trust, but has earned it back. I may not be the strictest parent, but I also know that I am not allowing my daughter to do whatever she wants. Also I know she is not doing what these so called adults are saying. I no where my daughter goes and check on her each and everytime. I talk to parents and met everyone of her friends parents.So an old friend of mine from junior high has a daughter the same age as my daughter. This women and I have known each other since we were in junior high. We have never had any problems (SO I THOUGHT) with one another and actually were good friends at one time. We just drifted apart. Our daughters do not hang out with one another, but they have mutual friends. The last couple of days I have received several phones calls from my daughters friends parents and friends of mine. Letting me know this women that I went to school with is talking about my daughter and me. Everyone is saying that she said don't let their children hang with my daughter,be careful if they let them hang with my daughter,that my daughter is not a virgin,shes a hoe,she drinks and smokes weed just crazy horrible things. She's also saying I'm a bad mom and I let her do whatever she wants and just making up stories about me too. Last weekend her daughter snuck out her house and was caught at an older mans house having sex,smoking weed and drinking. My daughter was not there for a fact. She was at my neices house having a party/sleepover for my neice 5 towns away, but for some reason this women is spreading a rumor that it was my daughter and not hers. Now my daughters friends are asking her if she did this stuff and the parents are calling me telling me that they know its not true but wanted me to know what was going on. Also my daughters godmother and I no longer talk. I'm also her daughters godmother. We have never kept out children away from one another nor talked bad about each other. Her daughter is 6 and I have raised her daughter more than she has. She only chooses to be a mom when she wants to be she has left her daughter with me for months without calling or anything. I don't saying nothing because she would take her away from me and I'm this little girls only stability. For some reason she is now talking about me on facebook. This is what she wrote and when someone asked her who is she talking about she said me.

When a mom is a friend more then a mom the child will do as she/he pleases when a child parties 2 much or stays at a friends house cause u let them then sneaks out just cause the mom talks 2 the parent on the phone that don't mean nothing go to the house and make sure ur child is gonna b watched the rite way cause kids r out there going 2 gridding partys out there having sex and be careful moms theres a few moms I know who think they know everything but think again we know more then u think and u do take them and get them checked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These stories are lies by grown adults. I also went to cvs and bought a drug test MY DAUGHTER PASSED, but even if these stories were true. 1. They are mothers come to me. 2. I have known both of these so called adults for 20 years or more and 3. One of them is her godmother. I really want to say something I just don't know what exactly to say because I will end up fighting and I'm not on that junior high level my daughter is in junior high and you know what's funny my daughter did sneak out to a party 3 months ago I punished her for a month and the one that wrote this status which is suppose to be her godmother was like don't be so hard talk to her remember we were young before also never once has my daughter been somewhere without me meeting the parents so shes clearly lieing. Which brings me to say what if I believed these two idiots what would that be like for my daughter and I right now. Also another thing the one that wrote this status is a horrible mother my god daughter doesn't even want to be with her mom. I had her for months straight without her mom calling or taking her she only has her now because she has a boyfriend and she likes to pretend to be a mom. Her daughter even calls me mom I don't allow it but she always does.I always say I'm auntie not mommy and she says why doesn't no one want to be my mom. She breaks my heart. I love her so much.


Ariana - posted on 10/10/2012




That sounds awful. Some people are pretty immature.

Your first option is to ignore these people. Don't talk to them, don't acknowledge it's going on. If you aren't taking any bait and aren't doing anything wrong the people these ladies are talking to will eventually be told that all of this is 'old news'. You know you don't do these things, your daughter knows she doesn't do these things. Why feed the fire right?

If you decide to talk to them you need to be very calm (yeah I know, it sucks). I would go talk to them (or if you don't think you can do it, send them a calm email) telling them exactly what you've heard. They said _________ and it is not true, why are they saying these things? They will either deny it, or claim it's true. If they deny it ignore that and tell them it is not ok with you that they are spreading rumours about your daughter. If they claim it's true, instead of calling YOU LIARS like you want to, ask them specifics. So if they say it was this day at this house you can calmly tell them that, no, your daughter was doing this that day. The more specifics you get from them the less reliable they'll be since they'll have to figure out new lies to justify what they're saying.

Tell them that it is not ok for them to go around saying things about their daughter. Do NOT attack them as mothers (even though you may want to) and do not bring up any extra issues. This is not a guarentee that they'll stop but it will show that you are not ok with rumours being spread and you are onto their lies.

Unfortunately these are adults, so you can't call the teacher to get rid of the bully. You either, ignore the behavior, or confront it in a calm adult manner (which they may not be used to). Whatever you do don't lose your cool with them or they will just feel more justified that you're a crazy person and gossip on and on about you.

Good luck, and I'm sorry this is happening :( Some people just never grow up.

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