hard not to get down...

Kelli - posted on 12/07/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




I am new to this circle but it was suggested I join a moms group to help deal with home life and my husband who unknowingly takes me for grated. I say unknowingly because I HOPE still he is clueless to how he treats me. He is at work all day 7-3 and come straight home. I stay home and take care of our two kids ( 2months&2yrsold), I clean a house twice a month and babysit another newborn once a week, I do ALL house work, make him lunch everyday, do 80% of the yard work, etc etc. point is I am on my feet all day too, i am not a tv mom, nor am I lazy. he comes home tired and doesn't really think to help much. he thinks he does, but really he just comes home in a grumpy mood and it just feels like he cant stand the sound of my voice. I have told him he is the one adult I come in contact with ( over doing that one, but he is one of the only ones ) and its important he comes home with good energy for me and for the kids, we are blessed and have a lot to be grateful for, but it doesn't seem to get thru to him. I just hate feeling like I am not respected or loved when I do SO much everyday for him to make him happy and to keep our kids happy and thriving.. itsjust hard not to get down


Cecilia - posted on 12/07/2013




I have to agree with Michelle, he does not work hours that should prevent him from helping. I would be more understanding if he worked 7pm-3am. Still the same amount of hours but can mean he's sleeping while you do work.

My husband is lazy, I'm willing to admit to that. He knows if he doesn't help our relationship will suffer. We take turns making dinner and bathing. Who ever makes dinner gets to relax while the other does bath time. He is responsible for dishes and I am responsible for everything else. It isn't a fair split of chores, but he does work out of the home.

You do need to give him some responsibility. Making his own lunch and doing yard work would be a nice start. Not many are going to do more than is expected of them. He is allowed to be this way. One of my favorite quotes in life "people will only treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated. "

Here is an article on that idea.


Michelle - posted on 12/07/2013




You need to sit down and have a talk with him. Maybe even write him a letter about how you feel and what you would like from him.
He doesn't work long hours so he doesn't have an excuse to not spend time with his family (no father does in my opinion though). Maybe even book into some marriage counseling. What is his parents marriage like? Does his Mum do everything for the family while his Dad works and then comes home and be waited on? If that the way his family is then he doesn't know any different and expects his marriage to be the same.

My husband and I both work the same hours and my husband travels almost an hour each way, every day. He still picks up our daughter from daycare and if I work late then he also gets the other 2 and organizes dinner and bed for them all. He also does the dishes if I cook (which is pretty much every night) and does all him own and our daughters laundry.


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