Has my 2 year old son got ADHD please help

Donna - posted on 10/01/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




My two year old is very active not your normal two year old he is very aggressive .loud.can not sit still for longer than a few seconds fidgets all the time .distruptive .climbs on every think doesn't listen to any think or any one very hypo 24/7 and his temper is terrible very angry .its been going on for a year and every week getting worse I'm in tears regularly as just an easy task of going to get a loaf of bread will be a trauma unstrapping him self from pram going rigid slapping me biting me screaming so loud he is always running of he won't think of stopping so I have to run so fast at 30 weeks pregnant to catch him I'm at my whitts end can't ever take him to a restraunt or to a club for toddlers as he's to much hard work nursery have asked for him to be accessed by health visitor


Bobbie - posted on 10/01/2012





it can be very surprising how fast our little smart babies can train us to react in the way in which they want. Without realizing it you may simply be reacting with a response that has worked in the past to sooth him rather than guide him. The smarter the child the more they can manipulate their surroundings.

Discipline will instill a sense of calm and boundaries in him that will bring him comfort and calm down his world. Now, by discipline I do not mean spanking, time outs or yelling.

It would be so helpful to you to get a book from the library on toddlers and discipline.

I can give you a few pointers but you really need to get a handle on why he is acting as he does.

Anger - is normally a sign of frustration. You are not responding as he expects you to or not giving him what he wants fast enough. To resolve this will require that you stay calm, do not give in to him and wait him out. Don't talk at him. A simple calm no and then go about continuing your action. If he bites, kicks, or screams you must tell him, "we don't bite, or kick" all the while using a firm but calm, in control voice. He should never get what he has asked for, regardless of time frame that you wait, if he as screamed or other wise showed anger. Lets say he yells and points to a banana and screams throwing a fit to reach it. His actions are learned behaviors. Tell him "we don't scream". Remove him from the line of site of the banana and get him to calm down by using the control of calm, and consistency. If you then hand him the banana after he calms down you have just taught him to wait you out and scream louder, kick or bite harder to get the banana faster next time. So even after he calms down he should not be given the banana. I used that example because most moms think that food should not be withheld, they must be hungry to ask for it. that is so not true! How many times has he screamed for food and then not even eaten it? Whether it is food, toys, or anything they demand with bad behavior you must realize that giving it to them when they calm down is like saying, "good boy for throwing that fit"

If he has ADHD the discipline and calm control will still need to be instituted in your home to bring you and he peace.

My grandson use to run and scare me to death. Because I know he still has the potential to run I never give him the chance to show self control. He is now three. I always hold his wrist if he won't take my hand and I calmly tell him to stay with me. He really doesn't have a choice than to stay with me but he is hearing the direction in a calm firm tone.

Whenever your son acts up you should be prepared to nip it in the bud before it gets out of control. If he can unbuckle himself then you need to restrain him with a waist strap that the closure isn't within his reach. If he arches and screams a calm. "you are staying in" is all you need to say.

Right now you are simply running after him keeping him from hurting himself and reacting to his speed. You need to set the speed by out thinking him, learning from his past behaviors what to expect next and control it before it happens.

I once had GS throw a screaming fit to get out of the stroller and walk with his brother. We were in the park and I knew he would just run off in a different direction so it would make no sense to let him out to walk, that wasn't his agenda. I picked him up screaming and kicking and held him to me. I stood there without talking waiting for him to stop and realize I wasn't reacting. when he looked at me I said you are going in the stroller or I am going to carry you. I put him in the stroller and started kicking and screaming again so I carried him to the car and we left. He didn't get to walk and run off. The next trip to the park he knew if he threw a fit he still wouldn't get to run so the fits stopped.

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