Has my marriage ended? Kids will suffer?

Christine - posted on 07/30/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




Good morning ladies =) I just joined Circle of moms, really like it so far. I need advice from you moms, I have been with my husband for almost 6 years, He had a "best friend" at the beginning of our relationship I never thought anything was going on until I found a video of her doing something to my husband. He told me that was a really old video that they are just friends. I always thought they had more but he would deny it. I told him he had to cut her off it took a bit but it was finally done..into our years of being together she would try to reach through his friends, not that Im aware of they spoke until this year in March. My husband and I broke up he told me I held to many grudges and would always bring up the past, In March he went looking for her. They had a secretive relationship. I didnt know until I seen a message on his phone pop up with her name I confronted him and he begged me back, I took him back under one circumstance. he didn't sleep w/her. He lied after going back more things kept coming up more of the truth. He did in fact sleep with her, he told her he felt he was in hell being with me and he cared for her etc...now I live everyday feeling sad/depressed/angry all because he lied to me. I know our marriage went down bc of me working full time then going to school and having 4 kids. I was drained. I love this man and all he tells me everyday it was a mistake he had lust for her. I am afraid of my kids hurting if I leave and I know I will hurt to but i'm hurting now I don't know how to move on and forget the past. PLEASE HELP I don't know where to do anymore its been 5 months back with him and I cry almost everyday I barely can eat bc I think of them to and able to actually image pictures of them ....SORRY FOR THE LONG STORY


Michelle - posted on 07/30/2013




First thing DON'T blame yourself for HIS actions. He is a grown and makes his own choices and if that was to have an ongoing affair then HE has to live with it.
2nd: your children will suffer more if you stay in a loveless and unhappy marriage. When you are unhappy so are your children, when you are happy then they will be.

You need to make a decision to either forgive him (I personally wouldn't because he's proven he can't be trusted again) or make a new life for you and your children. Maybe go and see a counselor to talk through your feeling so you can make a clear decision.

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