having a hard breaking my 3 yr old of crying over everything, and getting her potty trained, my husband and i argue about it all the time

Tasha - posted on 10/26/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )




please can anyone give me any tips . the crying is our fault cause we spoiled her, she was our last child and she figured oh if i cry enough they give in. then she goes potty once in awhile, and she gets bad rashes, my other 2 were potty trined by age 2. please help


JuLeah - posted on 10/27/2011




All kids are different, so your other kids were trianed by two. It doesn't mean she will be.

If she is crying, even if you think it is to get her own way, she is not happy. She is struggling to communicate with you is a good way - and falling back on tears, cause that is what works.

The bad rashes are caused by .... not changing her often enough, allowing her to remain in wet clothes ... you have control over that -

Take her to the bathroom every half hour or so .... if she cries, let her - then ask her to tell you/ask you again without tears

It is okay to cry, it is okay to be upset. You don't want her to stuff all emotion ... that is bad for the health

But there is a balance. She needs to be able to function in this culture and tears won't get her far

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/27/2011




There is no point in arguing over potty training, she will do it when she is ready, and not a moment sooner. Also, kids cry. It is what they do to express themselves. I know I feel like crying sometimes when I don't get my way too! But saying no and setting boundaries is important. Chose your battles, and sit down with your husband and get on the same page ASAP!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/27/2011




Potty training takes time. Some kids learn early, and some take a long ass time. A few suggestions, bring her to the store and have her pick out her own new underwear. Encourage her to wear them, and when she does pee in them or poop, it is much more uncomfortable than a diaper. Get a couple potty training books that are for kids, and start reading them to her. You can also have a reward system in place for everytime she uses the potty....like she can chose from stickers, have a special snack etc. Just take your time, and don't pressure her. It is one thing she really has control over....her own body. She should feel good about that.

Also, you can have her go naked.....that really can do the trick.


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Marlene - posted on 10/27/2011




Firstly, stop the arguing over her. It puts more pressure on you AND her. Only worsening the situation. Don't compare, no 2 children are the same. Praise and encourage her. Perhaps use a doll or favourite teddy. "praise" it for "being so good and using the potty." Praise you other kids when they go. I've seen many stubborn children change when others get praise, All kids want praise. Put a stop to the crying NOW, you are heading for trouble when she becomes older. Again, use praise for you other children when they do good things and show patience. When she cries (hard as it may be), turn around and walk away. It may take a while, but she will come around. All children want attention, whether positive or negative. Positive being far better. As far as possible ignore the negative and praise the positive. Use stickers and a chart with rewards. Never remove the positive stickers for negative behaviour. Consequences need to be in place for severe negative behaviour and used when really necessary. I have worked with children for 18 years and the positive always wins. I'm a mom of 2 boys too, 16 and 12. Good luck!

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