
Lsnader008 - posted on 03/21/2012 ( 47 moms have responded )
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Ok so I have a 3 year old and I asked the same thing the other day about doctors office....But anyways how do you's get your child to sit at the grocery store for big shopping trips like cart full shopping trip my daughter sits 5 seconds and then wants to get out and run around I don't like that she runs around becasue someone I don't know can pick her up or she runs away If she would just walk next to me I could handle her walking but she dosen't listen. Today at the store she was screaming and crying and saying I'm hurting her when all I was doing was picking her up so I can get her to stop running around the store then I would try and pick her up and put her in the cart she would scream louder and ppl were looking at me with looks of EVIL like take care of your child look I could have cried I never had this happen before. I buckled her in the cart and she screamed for 5 minutes and then this older guy walked past me and rolled his eyes and then that was it I had to take her out again cuz I felt bad for the ppl around me some women were looking at me like I wanna help her men were looking at me like shut that kid up.....I came home and told my husband and all he tells me to do is spank her well I don't wanna do that in the store I do it at home but time outs are more my thing and that works (at home only though) I wanna be able to take my daughter to the store but I CAN'T if shes going to act like that and then I have aniexty so that just makes me aniexty worse. So please give me ideas I shouldn't have to get a sitter so I can go to the store that Is just a pain in the butt.....So please help would you let her cry and buckled in the cart or leave her at home....I feel like If I leave her in the cart buckled in ppl will just give me that look! Please help I just don't know what to do
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[deleted account]
She knows if she screams you will take her out... so quit taking her out. My son (4 next week) knows that walking in the store isn't an option unless we're only going in for one or two things. If I get a cart... he's in it. Period.
Take her for SHORT trips and let her scream if she must. You can let her know that if she lets you get the shopping done w/out her screaming then you will still have enough patience for something fun (something she REALLY likes to do), but if she screams then you are going straight home when the shopping is done. If she still screams... ignore her, get done what you must, and then leave.
If you CAN leave her home then go ahead and do that if it'll make it easier on you. Otherwise just get done what needs to get done.
Eleni - posted on 03/23/2012
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First off... IGNORE the people around you, they dont know why your child is acting like that. Make her sit in the trolley and keep explaining to her over and over its dangerous to be out of the trolley. Also involve her in shopping, let her choose the flavour of juice or what fruits she want etc. before you go to the store tell her if she is a good girl and helps you with shopping she can have a sticker or treat after your finished.
Wendy - posted on 03/23/2012
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Hello, sorry to hear you are having such a bad time of shopping. I have a friend whom has 2 that's right 2 children that do this through the entire shopping trip.We have never figured out why the kids do this.They are now 2,4 and guess what, they both still scream and cry all the way through the store. Just remember as bad as you may feel for the other shoppers, and as embarrassed as you may be, shopping has to be done. You will probably NEVER see these same people again in life so who cares what they think.I know how hard it is emotional, and the anxiety is off the charts but at some point she will get older and do better. Maybe you could take a friend or your hubby to distract her for you.I know leaving her at home is a much easier option, but in the long run she must learn how to behave and control herself in public places.Teaching these skills at a young age is more helpful for the long term.Remember children sense your anxiety so as hard as it maybe try to stay focused and relaxed and explain to her that this is a chore that will get done weather she screams or not.Maybe when she starts with the running around or not listening you could take her to a manager and have them explain why she must sit down,and stay quiet. I know you feel like you are not able to control the situation, but I do not remember a manual hanging off my kids foot when she popped out. Some children respond better to strangers speaking with them. It is our job as a mommy to TEACH and I am a firm believer in doing this with what ever help I may need. I do hope things get easier for you and your daughter. But just remember if you ever see me looking at you in the store with your child in a difficult moment. I will look with wonder an ask myself what can I do to help this mom? It takes a village sometimes and not enough people remember that. Good Luck!
Krista - posted on 03/23/2012
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I would suggest a couple of options. One option might be a kid-harness, that you can then tie to your belt, so that your child can walk, and explore within a safe radius, but not run away from you. That may be a good compromise.
Another option is to maybe have a special "grocery store" toy or book that she ONLY gets when you're at the store. Make it something really engaging and interesting, and let her know that she can only have it if she sits in the cart quietly.
And if worst comes to worst, and she DOES scream, and people are glaring, what goes a LONG way is to actually acknowledge it and apologize, and get only your basic necessities and get the hell OUT of there. Most people who get angry are angry not just because the kid is screaming, but because the parent appears to just be blithely ignoring it. A sheepish smile and a "Sorry -- she's having a REALLY bad day" can disarm most people.
Angelette - posted on 03/25/2012
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You poor thing!! I understand your anxiety but your child would be picking up on how you are feeling and it is a nasty cycle, the more tense and anxious you are, the more the child plays up! Try to ignore those nasty stares and know that you are doing your best. I have a very active 3.5 year old boy and a newbie, I have learnt from experience that my 3 year old struggles with sitting still and it is in my best interest to have a shopping list with me, to involve him and also before a shopping expedition, we go to a playground and I get him to run off some steam, we probably spend 45mins to an hour there and by the time we leave he is happy and alot calmer, I take snacks to the shop with us in a special little lunch bag, things like sultanas, chopped fruit, sandwhich etc he sits in the shopping trolley and eats his snacks as we are doing the weekly shop. I engage him in the shopping, what colour are these apples? Should we get the red ones or the green ones? How many? Can you help me count them? What should we have for lunch? Should we buy some chicken for our lunch? It makes the shopping trip a little longer but I leave with a happy child and I am also calm, it is a quality time and a learning experience all at the same time. Some days it doesn't work though and kids have bad days just like we do, I don't like to bribe him with treats for good behaviour because I expect him to behave well, bad behaviour results in the loss of a special thing he likes to do, I will warn him that if he continues to act in this way we will not go to the park to feed the ducks tomorrow because this behaviour is not ok. He usually turns around and he knows that I mean what I say.