Help!! Balance is difficult it seems I've lost control.

Stephanie - posted on 10/31/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )




Let me lay everything out as best as I can. I just turned 27 on the 24th and I've been a single mother since my son was born. My son just turned 5 yrs old on the 25th and at the age of 3 was diagnosed with Childhood Apraxia of Speech. This has been an EXTREMELY hard road for me. I've been taking him to speech therapy once a week since he was 3, I've seen little improvement. I've had him at every specialist and doctor to be tested for autisim which has been determined 3 times he doesn't have it. He has some fine motor delays, but his speech is horrible I can't understand him a lot, it's very hard for me as a mom not to be able to communicate with my child. We have tried PEX cards, sign langue etc. I feel like I don't ever have the time I wish I had to dedicate to him with learning. Back in April i graduated cosmetology school where I then took my state board exams after and became licensed. After receiving my license I was hired right away at a salon it took me 30 min to drive to and from everyday. I was making good money and my schedule was flexible but due to my newness to the cosmetology industry apparently I had not learned much more than just the basics and due to lack of training my boss said it wasn't a good fit, she needed a more experienced stylist. Now I have been out a job for the whole month of October looking but unable to find salons that offer extra training. Unfortunately I live in Ohio and not in a very big city where there is more job openings in salons that offer apprenticeship programs and such. Needless to say my bills have gotten backed up, I can't afford a sitter or daycare for my son so I can go interview for a job. I hardly have any family to help me, I don't know my dad, my grandparents both died when I was young, my mom works full time and my sons father is completely out of the picture as he was an abusive person. I feel like I've tried to make a lot of progress in accomplishing "the American dream" if you will. To provide a stable environment for my son, a regular routine, to be able to pay my bills and manage my time. I'm so stressed out that I haven't been taking care of myself. I don't work out anymore because I can't go to the gym, I can't afford it and I wouldn't have anyone to watch my son. I've tried at home but it's too difficult with my son constantly crying and throwing temper tantrums because I'm doing something for myself. Five is a really hard age with him right now because he isn't self sufficient at all I have to dress him, feed him, bath him etc, it doesn't matter if I clean up his toys he just throws them back out and makes a mess again after I clean. I don't do my makeup anymore, I have no beauty regimen, I'm not taking care of my face or skin like I use to, I'm eating like crap because it's quick and i am always on the go. This is so hard and I feel like things are spiraling out of control. My head is spinning with everything going on and I just can't anymore.

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