HELP.....I am grandma with an unrealistic new mother

Nancy - posted on 08/06/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




I received a phone call from my son's ex-girlfriend from another state and she informed that she had been kicked out of her parents house shortly after giving birth. (Believe me...I do not know the "whys") Then she moved into her boyfriends parents house only to be asked to leave from there. She begged me to get her to my state so I proceeded to get her and my granddaughter here out of my own was quite pricey..over $1000.00.

I had problems with her when she was dating my son and the both of them lived in my home when they were in my state and she was the laziest human being. Living for free...did NO dishes...swept no floors..did not even clean up after herself. Well,,,,she has NOT changed on that part but that is not what I have having problems with.

I own my own business and she did get herself a job. I watch the baby every charge...but EVERY SINGLE MORNING before she leaves for work she dictates what this child will on TV...and how many diapers to use (this is a new one as of today). She came into my room and proceeded to tell me how I did not feed her daughter properly yesterday....this little 7 month old at plenty (cereal and formula). Because I did not paw through the diaper bag to see what else was in there I was criticized to my face. In the beginning I wanted to change the baby's diaper because she was "squishy"..Mom opened her onsie and looked to see if the "blue" line was showing (whatever that is...squishy pee soaked is squishy pee soaked). At that time I was informed not to change the diaper until the blue line showed up....well I am not going to do that and I do not. Now because she (baby) has had mild diaper rash...I was informed that I was NOT changing her enough and she put this many diapers in the bag and expects all of them to be used in one day....a change an hour. Now mind all of you reading this...I work daily with not only this business but others (they are "mild") and the baby comes outside with me to play in a childs jeep while I work (she loves it). I now understand why she was asked to leave from two places but I will NOT do that...there is a child involved and it is no fault of hers that her mother is unreasonable and immature. I have had it though....I am not comfortable in my home...she has not yet started paying me back for getting her to my state (an agreement between the two of us since I am NOT rich) and she has not changed about being lazy in the home. Any suggestions that will somewhat work in my situation. AND..I have read the other posts from younger folks and believe I get is "my" child and I will raise her my way....that is fine...but I also raised three children who are still alive and on their of them this girl slept with and had this beautiful child.

Thank you for reading my long, drawn out circumstance. I do not want to get totally attached (too late really) to this child but I refuse to allow her to talk to me like an idiot. I am educated...almost time to receive my Bachelors degree and going on to Masters.


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/06/2015




Why do adults constantly let other adults come into their homes without terms and conditions being set IN WRITING???

Get a contract. Make her adhere to it. If she does not, kick her out.

Nancy - posted on 08/06/2015




Thank you so much for your kind words and suggestions. I believe I will draw up a contract today while at work..I have a Word program, lol.

As for my son....he is my first and wound up being the "get into trouble" kid out of three.
He is in legal trouble, no jail yet, but he does not step up to take care of his kid(s)...yes plural. I have a grandson that I paid the child support for until the other grandmother did not like the closeness between my grandson and myself (another story).

I am just one of those personalities that I am grateful to those who help me in life...both in my past and present and will in future. I have a bad habit of expecting people to react the same way when in the same positions. I know it....I should not...but I still do. Part of my spirituality I suppose....Anyways, thank you again for the kindness.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/06/2015




Congratulations on your education, and congratulations on your grand baby!

BUT, I would write out a contract with her outlining EXACTLY what you expect....laundry, dishes, shopping, whatever. You are right, her baby....but she needs to step it up. Clearly she has been kicked out of 2 other homes because of her attitude and laziness. So spell out what you expect like you are talking to a 2 year old. She should be paying you rent at the very least. Talk about boundaries. Let her know she is welcome to stay as long as she lives by your house rules. If she is not paying you for sitting, that is your decision which is very kind.

Where is your son during all of this? This is HIS child also. Not just hers, and not your responsibility. Is he paying child support, helping care for his baby, what is going on there?????? Is there a chance they could move in together or are they completely broken up?

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