Help! Mediators pushing me into corner.

Melissa - posted on 05/16/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




My wonderful son is now 2.5 years old. The bio father who is a drug addict wants supervised visitation! Now?! He hasn't seen Ashton since he was 10 weeks old. We were both drug users together until I got my life together. I have been sober since September 2010. Bio father however is still using. He passed two clean drug tests which he decided he would take randomly in the last six months and completed a parenting course. He is still self medicating on prescriptions including; xanax, adderal, colonopin & suboxon and although he is prescribed he is still using them! He is a dangerous person and obsessed with BB guns! I do not want Ashton to ever know him and I'm pushing for TPR! I have a bad history, however I am sober today and enjoying my life with my beautiful Ashton. Help! We were married and I'm seeking divorce, the mediator pushed me into a corner. Just because he went to a handful of parenting classes and passed two drug tests (no child support because he seeks SSI for being bipolar) this does not mean he should get supervised visitation!!! Correct? Thoughts & comments please! I have worked so hard in my life to get sober, stay sober, get a good job and be a happy young single mom... Why does he deserve supervised visitation?!? He has no lawyer either... I think my lawyer and mediator are screwing me on this one!


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/17/2013




Dove & Michelle are 100% correct.

Quit trying to keep this child from a relationship with his father. Plainly stated, he deserves visitation because the child is his biological child.

You made a choice to marry and have a child with this person. Obviously he wasn't "that horrible" when you were both using drugs together, but now that you've quit, you have a picture in your head of you being a perfect parent, and him being a perfect failure.

Don't get me wrong: YOU ARE A STRONG PERSON, AND HAVE DONE WELL TO GET AND STAY STRAIGHT. I know how hard that is, I've been married to a recovered drug addict for almost 25 years. YOU HAVE DONE AN AWESOME THING!!!

Let your ex have the same opportunity to turn his life around with his son.

Michelle - posted on 05/17/2013




Dove is 100% correct. He is your child's FATHER and whether you like it or not he has rights. Your child also deserves to have a relationship with his father, YOU have NO right to deny that since it was your choice to have his child.
Be thankful that it is supervised visits and not overnights! If you deny him supervised visits and it goes to court the judge may even give you 50/50, how would you feel about that?

Dove - posted on 05/16/2013




Your child has a right to know his father. Period. It is not the child's fault that you picked a drug abusing loser to be his father. Your ex doesn't deserve anything, but your CHILD does. Even drug abusing losers have legal rights and if he's only asking for supervised.... he is almost definitely likely to be granted that in court. You would be wise to work with him in mediation, so that you can still have 'some' control on when and how long.... otherwise you will be at the complete mercy of a judge who recognizes your ex's legal rights and the right of your child to know his father.

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