HELP!! My 3 1/2 year old daughter refuses to poop in the potty!

Nikki - posted on 07/13/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have two children, both girls, ages 4 1/2 and 3 1/2. My oldest has been potty trained for over a year but the youngest never showed the interest. She liked flushing the potty and watching it go down but has only peed in the potty for the past two weeks after many unsuccessful attempts in the past. We FINALLY got her to pee on the potty all the time and even holds it all night while she sleeps and gets up and pees without mess. She has never been the "clean" child but her sister is. We have promised candy, toys, treats, stickers, new movies, everything but nothing seems to work. She would rather sit in her poop than to try to go on the potty. We have even let her run around the house naked and she pooped on the floor! We have set her on the potty and waited until her little thighs had an imprint of the toilet seat but no poop! She got up and not even 20 minutes later, pooped her panties! I have thrown so many panties away because they won't come clean, even after washing them immediately and even soaking them! She has soft stools and goes everyday but still won't do it on the potty... I have told her that her big sister will start preschool this year and she can go to school too if she poops on the potty all the time, but no help. She likes the idea but no poop... We give her lots of encouragement that everybody poops on the potty like big boys and girls but she just refuses. Any ideas?? She is done except for the poop part. PLEASE HELP!


Kiley - posted on 07/13/2011




I am a preschool teacher and mom and see many children potty training at different rates (independent of sibling behavior).

Personally, I don't condone the bribe-method bc it teaches children to comply, only with terms, in other words, in teaches them everything is a compromise and not to settle unless they're getting something in return. Above and beyond that, toddlers and preschoolers can control three things in their world: 1. What they eat 2. When they sleep 3. Where they go potty. Thus, it's normal for your young one to assert herself in this way. It's not likely a matter of capability but rather, control ;)

I would switch her to panties and have her use the toilet everytime you or her sister go, or every 20min. If you are out and about just be sure to bring wipes and a change of clothes. The issue is not how long you make her sit on the potty, but how often. If she gets upset, hug her tell her you're sorry she is sad but we try even if we cry. If she has accidents on the floor, don't punish her-try not to react much at all. However it would be appropriate to talk about how her body felt before/when she pooped to get her to notice the symptoms. When she tries, or successfully poops (& pees) on the potty-make a big deal out of it, sing, dance & tell her youre proud of her.

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Sammy - posted on 03/24/2013




dont panic
my daughter was like this for 7 long months
we thought we tried everything but then we tried this

first give her 1 room she must play in every day and give her 1-5 toys and put her potty in their to. choose a room that is quite boring and has nothing that would be any interest for little children.
Then if she poops her pants make her clean herself. If she poops her pants more than 3 times give her either a smaller room or cordon the room off.
is she goes on the potty give her a sticker or treat and give her a few more toys and another room.
if she goes 3-4 days without pooping on the potty then she will get very bored and will finally poop.
hope this helps you
sammy x

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