help my baby throws tantrums

Kate CP - posted on 03/20/2012

WHAT?! He's 7 months old! He's an infant! They don't throw tantrums. If he gets into something he shouldn't then give him something else to play with. Your doctor is a jerk for suggesting you just let an infant cry when something is obviously wrong. If he's done this since he was 3 months old it sounds like he may be in pain. Something like hip problems or reflux could be an issue. If you notice he starts screaming right after eating it may be reflux. If he's doing it while sitting or when his hips are at a certain angle it could be his hips.



Don't just ignore a baby who's screaming. And you don't throw a tantrum back. How does that help? He's a BABY. He can't even talk! How the hell else is he supposed to let Mom know something is wrong?!

Sarah - posted on 03/21/2012

Very high pitched cries, like Mariah Carey's voice, might mean that there is a medical problem. This article has some information about that, but is written for a medical audience:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases...



Here's another:

http://www.answers.com/topic/crying-and-...



Danielle, is there any way you can go to a different doctor to have your baby looked at? He's very young to be having tantrums, and if he started behaving like this at 3 months, it's definitely not a tantrum. Doctors can be wrong about things - get another doctor to look at your baby, please?



Do you have support for you, as a mother in your life? You said you're scared of going into postpartum depression - do you have someone to talk to in your life who can help you with things? Dealing with a baby who cries a lot is HARD work, and you need support and a community to help you. It's one of the most important things you can do for both yourself, and for your family.

[deleted account]

He's 7 months old and if it started at 3 months... it's not a tantrum. My son screamed a lot as an infant. He had reflux. If your doctor has been advising to just let him scream since 3 months... get a new doctor.



My son did throw his first actual 'tantrum' at 9 months. He screamed for 20 minutes because I took my cell phone out of my purse before letting him play w/ my purse. I tried to comfort and/or distract him, but nothing worked until he was done throwing his fit. I didn't give him what he wanted, but I sure didn't just leave him to scream cuz... he was a BABY.



If he is stressing you out which I can certainly understand.... get some help. A new doctor, maybe someone YOU can talk you, someone else that can help you by holding him for a bit when he freaks out so you can remain calm. Don't think there is anything wrong w/ YOU and don't think you have to do this alone, but please don't think he is just throwing a fit. 3 month old babies (which is when you say this started) DON'T do that. Hang in there and I hope this gets better soon!

Ronda - posted on 03/21/2012

A baby that age DOES throw tantrums!! My baby does, she even used to get mad and throw her toys before 6 months of age. She does this weird twisting thing when she is mad where she tries to thrash her head into yours. I was told to let her cry it out when she was about two weeks. So I tried to let her cry for 15 min and she ended up with a hernia! I never tried that again. She is a very demanding baby that would never let me put her down! It's hard and you need all the support you can get! ~hug~ If you can read this Dr. Sears book called "The Fussy Baby" Here is the link

http://www.drsearsfamilyessentials.com/b...

Heidi - posted on 03/22/2012

I would also like to add that I limited the access my baby has to the house. I closed doors to all of the rooms she could not play in (bedrooms, bathroom) because she was simply going in and tearing the rooms apart. She now has access to the kitchen, dining and living rooms where her toys are and we are. I also only give her access to some toys and switch them out every few days so she doesn't get bored. You would not believe how infrequent the tantrums are now that she doesn't have the 'reign of the house' and she doesn't have an audience when a tantrum is occuring.

Heidi - posted on 03/22/2012

I agree that at three months, there was something else wrong with baby, BUT, my daughter has been having tantrums since she was 8 months. I am absolutely positive they are tantrums because they only happen when she is not getting her way, such as wanting to play with the dog dishes and mommy takes them away. I always try to substitue the removed item with one she can play with and the end result is commonly that the new item it thrown across the room in a fit of anger. I normally walk away (out of sight) and she usually stops once she no longer has an audience. I would like to note though that if the tantrum cries turn to distress cries I always go and pick her up at that point.



Placing baby in a safe place like a playpen or crib and taking a short breather is also a very healthy thing to do both for you and baby. I've done it and probably most moms have.

Danyel - posted on 03/22/2012

I agree with the others that say get a diffrent Dr. if this was new behavior I might think he was getting to an age of having tantrums, but given the fact that it has been going on since he was 3 mth old there is some other problem, it could be related to reflux as I seen written lots in the replies, it could also be teething, constipation or maybe ear pain or as one reply said sensory related. the fact that he is doing high pitched screems would definatly poin t to some sort of discomfort/pain not tantrums. So seek out a second opinion from a different Dr. and it wouldn't hurt to do some research into sensory related problems such as Autism exspecialy if you have also noticed that he seems sensitive to lights, noise or motion and/ or he doesn't seem to look at your face while your holding him or if he doesn't seem to like being touched/held much. please don't just pass it of as tantrums without investigating into other possibilities. 3 month old babies DO NOT have tantrums because of not getting what they want!!!

Sally - posted on 03/22/2012

He's only 7 months. His "tantrum" is because some need isn't being met and he can't tell you what's wrong. Stop buying him crap and actually pay attention to him. Figure out what's wrong and fix it. It will take time and work, but his health could depend on it. And get another doctor. Any doctor who thinks a baby is capable of tantrums at three months shouldn't be treating babies.

Eyvonne - posted on 03/21/2012

LOL im working on the cause you are sooooo right !!

Eyvonne - posted on 03/21/2012

At three months a baby cries cause their needs are not met. Cant say the same at 7 months cause my baby is throwing tantrums now. bt mine is spoiled and i need advice myself. But continuous crying might mean somethings wrong. Better safe than sorry.

Leslie - posted on 03/21/2012

My baby cried a lot when he was first born and I kept taking him to the doctor. She told me he was hungry. Feed him. I had to feed him as often as he like and eventually he'll stopped. I'm with everyone else something is bothering him. Maybe you should get him a sonogram to rule out any internal injuries. If that;s not the case at this point its a habit and prayfully he will grow out of it. Just keep talking to him. Although, they can't talk they understand very well. Don't let him fool you. Most importantly let him know you are there for him no matter what. God Bless.

Alexandra - posted on 03/21/2012

Oh, I see you posted this in another conversation that I already answered to!

It is a little more serious than what I thought.

It appears that there is something wrong with your baby. It can be gas, reflux, hunger, colics, I don't know, but babies do not cry like the way you are describing.

You must/should go see another doctor. Do not ignore these cries, you might regret it forever.

Also, be aware of everybody that is around your baby. And, as I said before in my other answer, never but really never leave your baby alone.

Hella - posted on 03/21/2012

I had the same problem with my son, when I figured it out, that he is over stimulated. Keep him calm, and give him one more extra nap. It solved all my problem. If he is crying, it is not a tantrum, he is a baby, he try to tell you something. Cut back on toys, especially noisy ones. !!! and he might be teething too. The symptoms, you are telling are all say he is tired, and teething. cut back on activities, stay home with him more, keep him in a very quite , calm environment. YOu can even try to sleep with him . In two to three days, the tantrums will be over. !!!!!!!!!!! I promise! Don't let him cry out, he needs you, and I'm 100% sure, that babies under 1 year, don't know tantrum, but something is bothering them. Always! For teething try camilia from boiron, it will help too. And if you try to sleep with him, it will relax you too. :))) good luck and try baby wearing. There is no such thing that a 3 month old start tantrums.

Africa - posted on 03/21/2012

Greetings,I am a mom to a boy who will be 3 in may and twins who turned 1 march 6th...make sure baby is not in pain for any reason,if not take some time for yourself and breathe,try taking the baby gor walks ,don't underestimate the intelligence of nature!

Ginny - posted on 03/21/2012

Hi, this is so difficult. It's can be hard to keep your sanity as a parent when your child is so obviously upset and you feel powerless to help. What I have learned is that we all have our own inner wisdom as mothers and nobody knows your child as well as you do. The problem is, it can be so difficult if not impossible to tap into that wisdom when you are feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and full of guilt because you're on the verge of "losing it" yourself. The best help I've ever found is some simple techniques that help me clear and release my own heavy emotions so I can feel calm, clear, and centered. This helps me connect with my own inner wisdom so I can know what's best for my child. The techniques that I use are easy to do and they work remarkably well to release the difficult feelings. I felt like it was important for all moms to have access to these simple techniques because parenting is hard enough, it's excruciating when you're trying to make decisions and feeling overwhelmed and like you're hanging on by your fingernails.



I have a couple of simple audio programs on my website that you can download for free that will teach you these easy techniques. Please feel free to download them, I think you'll notice a big difference in how you feel after using them. www.ginnywalker.com/free



I'm sure you are an awesome mom and of course, you're doing the best you know how. You're his mom, you'll be led to what's the best thing for your son. There's tons of wonderful moms on here that have so much wisdom and are so generous to help. Thanks everybody for sharing. :)

Lisa - posted on 03/21/2012

A baby that age doesn't throw tantrums. It could be colic, reflux, or gas from allergy if you are using formula. You may need to switch to soy or other. Try different forms of holding your baby, mine loved to lay on my arm face down while i rubbed his back. Research additional holding positions online. In my brothers case he needed to outgrow his colic. It isn't fun, if you find yourself stressed from crying find someone to take him for a little while to give yourself a break. Postpartum is a hormonal disorder, if you haven't developed by now you won't. But the stress is exhausting, anyone who can give you a break is needed. I agree with all the posts find a new doctor. I obtained my knowledge from college early childhood education courses. A good pediatrician should be able to help you find the source of the problem and help you through it, any doctor who thinks a baby, an infant is throwing a temper tantrum is dangerous.

Dawn - posted on 03/21/2012

Hi, if you know when your child is going to throw one of these tantrums you could always get his most favourite toy and draw his attention to it and encourage him to play with it it he at least calms down. This is what you call diverting the attention away from the bad or negative situation and creating a positive playing situation. By doing this it can calm the child down but can take upto an hor before you notice the difference in your childs behaviour. I have to do this on a regular basis with my 7yr old and it works but the occasional time it slips through the net. hope this is hof some help to you.

Debi - posted on 03/21/2012

Is there anything else going on with him like power puking or constant spitting up? My nephew was a constantly screaming baby. He was my sister's second child and she kept trying to get the doctor to understand that this was NOT normal behavior. At 4 months old she took him in and the doctor witnessed a power puke & asked if that were normal. When she told him they used a bath towel for a burp rag, they put him in the hospital for tests. Turned out there was a gap between where his esophagus and stomach met, not uncommon & causing sever acid reflux. Since he wasn't 'failure to thrive' he just had to be propped up to sleep and was given tons of stomach meds. It closed on its own at around 1 year of age. He does have a sensitive gag reflex but he's a big, happy, healthy 25 year old now.



I would keep a food log, if you're nursing, keep yours. Could be food sensitivity. He's way to young to be throwing fits, get a 2nd opinion.

Lori - posted on 03/21/2012

I have 3 grown children and I would have to say that there might be something more to this than a tantrum. Every kid is different but at 7 mos old they may just developing stranger danger, where they know people are different from Mom....this is too early for tantrums. They don't really have free will and would be too young to understand consequences. They may just have an in ability to deal with stimulus....Either way, you need to find a good peds Dr and have a discussion about what you are seeing. Is there a good Children's Medical Facility around you?

Nicole - posted on 03/21/2012

I suggest documenting a day or more of his daily activities and when he throws these tantrums. I know my little ones crys and tantrums, all babys/infants have a different cry for pain, tired, tantrum. I can be in another room and hear them cry and I can tell if they are just trying to get attention or they are hurt or tired.



After documenting and seeing a pattern take it to a doctor. You never know what might be wrong and some just throw tantrums for attention and yes at those times you dont feed into it and they will stop or it will be a very short lived tantrum once they see they arent getting your reaction.

good luck

Hope - posted on 03/21/2012

Does he have these "tantrums" at certain times of the day? or after certain activities? Do you notice any patterns or similarities in them??

Tara - posted on 03/21/2012

He is a baby. He is not manipulating you. Find a different doctor, try playing with him, taking him for walks, reading to him: essentially treat him like a small person rather than an object of annoyance and irritation. Children learn emotional intelligence from their caregivers, if you are not giving him positive feedback and engaging him in loving play he will be bored, insecure and clingy. He is also only 7 months old. he is a BABY, not a toddler. He cries because some or all of his needs are not being met or not being met adequately. Children and children sense and feel our moods. He may have reflux, hell he might have fractured his clavicle during birth and is still in pain (this was the reason I cried a lot myself in the first 3 months of my life). But still, I imagine from your post that he simply isn't being stimulated and cared for in a loving, accepting way.

Perhaps you could do some research regarding early infant development and maternal/child bonding. There is a lot more to having and caring for a baby than meeting just their physical needs, in fact their need for you, your love and attention is almost as strong as their need for nourishment. Children need touch, they need play and they need to feel safe. And it all starts when they are babies and with us and how we interact with them. I don't mean any of this as insulting, but I do think you should do some more research into what 7 month old babies actually need and why they cry and what is an acceptable way to deal with it and what is not acceptable. 7 month olds don't need time out, if anything, they need more time "in":

In your arms,

In your presence,

In your heart,

[deleted account]

3 months old have no way of telling you that they're in pain but to cry. Find a different doctor. This is not normal and it's not a naughty child trying to manipulate you.

Tabitha - posted on 03/20/2012

Reflux does make more sense than a tantrum in this case. But I want to also point out that babies learn very early how to get what they want. When my son was 6 months old, he started throwing fits like that if he couldn't reach a toy or if I took something I didn't want him to have. If he was sitting up, he would throw himself back and hit his head on the floor. If he was crawling, he would slam his forehead on the floor. He would give himself concussions. We were in the ER so many times for that, they called CPS on me. Thank God he threw a fit while we were there so they could see what I was talkin about. They were just about to remove him from my care thinking I was beating on him.



Anyway, that's their form of communication. They get use to you taking care of their NEEDS because they've cried. It doesn't take long before they realize they can get what they WANT by crying as well. Even babies as young as 3 months can figure out that if they cry when you put them down...you'll pick them right back up. I'm not saying it's bad to hold your baby. But you should be able to put them down and not give in to their crying if you've already taken care of everything he needs. It doesn't hurt a baby to cry.

Karla - posted on 03/20/2012

One more suggestion: Baby proof. If he's crawling then it's time to put-up the "stuff" that you don't want him to get into. He's too young to understand, and it's creating frustration to see the stuff he wants to explore and then be pulled away from it.



ETA: And I agree that if these tantrums started a 3 months, then it's not just a tantrum.

Krista - posted on 03/20/2012

Your doctor's an idiot. 3-month old babies do not throw tantrums, and they most CERTAINLY do not consciously manipulate their parents-- if he was crying and crying and crying, it was for a reason. He could have anything from tummy problems to sensory issues.



Bring him to a different doctor -- one who actually specializes in children.

Dana - posted on 03/20/2012

I just wanted to add, reflux doesn't have to happen after eating. With my son, it could happen at any time. Also, are you sure he's getting enough stimulation/play time? He could just be bored.

Dana - posted on 03/20/2012

I would seek out a different doctor. And it sounds as if he could have acid reflux. Both of my kids have had/has it ( one being 6 months old right now). If my 6m old doesn't get his reflux medicine, he will scream and arch his back. Whatever it may be, it sounds as if your child is in pain.

Tabitha - posted on 03/20/2012

Walk away when the tantrum starts. The whole point of a tantrum is to get a reaction from you so that he'll get his way. And yes...they learn this very early. Put him in his crib or playpen and go in the other room and calm down. As long as he's in a safe place, it will not hurt him to cry it out. Eventually, he will realize that you aren't going to react or give in and the fits will stop. It's better to stop this behavior as soon as you can. He'll still do it a bit while he's a toddler, hold your ground and don't give in. Otherwise, you'll be the mom in the grocery store mortified by your 6 year old kicking and screaming on the ground because he wants a sucker.

Jolene - posted on 03/20/2012

well all i can say to you to try is if he thrown a tantrums all you need to do is to also throw a tantrums like he does i did that ones and it kinde helped a bit.

Good luck.