Help-Teen Dating

Regina - posted on 10/10/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




My daughter is 16 years of age and a junior in high school and has never been asked out on a date. She has dated one boy for one month and he told her she wasn't affectionate enough. My daughter is beautiful and everyone tells me it just because the boys are intimidated by her. I know she is shy and a little awkward, but I just cant grasp this. I don't know if she is standoffish in school or what. She has the worse luck when it comes to boys. She has cried several times saying that one day she would be good enough. What can I do. Is this normal


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/10/2013




As the parent of two sons, I take extreme offense at your statement "boys want what they can't have", Beth.

Try parenting a boy, and you'll realize the fallacy of that statement.

My young men have both had girlfriends, and, if anything, weren't "brave" enough for the girls! One wanted my eldest to have sex with her, and when he told her he was waiting for "the one" to marry, she got pissed and broke up with him. So, I could very easily say "girls only want sex", but I don't, because I know that each person is an individual.

My youngest has had girlfriends off and on as well, and NEVER has he pushed himself on them, NEVER has he wanted "what he can't have". At 16, he's dating a very nice young lady, and they have yet to share even a first kiss.

Watch what you're saying before you say it.

Regina, your daughter will find the right guy for a good first relationship. She's a special girl, and when that guy comes around, she'll know. The rest, who haven't asked her out, or the one she dated, were losers who don't have a clue. You need to encourage her to continue to be herself. If a guy's intimidated by that, then he's not the one for her!


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Beth - posted on 10/15/2013




I am truly sorry for my comment. I was not referring to all boys. My generalized statement was very insensitive.

I know many, many wonderful boys and wish my daughter would look their way and not toward the "fast" ones. It seems the shy girls attract the wrong guys.

Beth - posted on 10/10/2013




My oldest is 15 and a sophomore. I know she is awkward and her "boyfriends" over the last two years haven't lasted more than a month. One even broke up with her for not wanting to kiss him.

Now, while I want her to have a fantastic High School experience and date, school is for studying and getting prepared for college. I personally found out how one boyfriend and a few months of slacking can mess up a GPA and disqualify you from good collages.

I do not discourage my daughters when it comes to boys (i have 3 girls). It is healthy to crush and date them. But, I am sure, with time and patience the social (boy) awkwardness will dissipate. And boys want what they can't have. Concentrating on school and after-school activities will pull her out of the dating scene. Therefore, making her more desirable in the eyes of the boys.

I hope this helps even though i quietly cheer (sometimes no so quietly) when I hear my 14 year old has turned down another boy.

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