Highly sensitive child?

Annie - posted on 04/19/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )




Hi, I am having a bit of a hard time adjusting to my 3 yr old's needs. I've got 2 teenage kids who were easy to raise as little ones, hence i thought i was a super mum...not now! My daughter is clingy,tantrums,super loving and bright but won't leave my side. We tried nursery but she was traumatized by my leaving. She didn't stop crying when i left. I would return half an hour later to find her still crying. I pulled her out because i didn't want it to become a major trauma but it seems it has and now. I'm the only one she will go out with. I recently read a book about highly sensitive children and she fits the bill totally, much to my relief! So she has too much sensitivity and input and needs careful handling. But I'm still struggling to reach the right balance. My question is are there any other parents out there who have experienced this and how did they cope?


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Annie - posted on 04/25/2011




Thanks for all the comments,very helpful,i will try the playgroup idea,so that she can get her fill of kids her age and get confident with me around.Maybe in time she will feel ready to let me go,I like what you say about doing some things on their terms,I find this helps if one has the patience!It's so hard,especially other people's reactions to these special little people!I get accused of spoiling until they realise that she really wants to be helpful,she just has certain needs.The book i read wasn't about sensory processing problems,but I 'm gonna check that out,it could be helpful.I was thinking of asking my health visitor to check her out but she reacts terribly to doctors and nosy strangers...!Maybe I'll strike lucky and get an enlightened one...Thanks again X

Amanda - posted on 04/22/2011




The book you read, was it on Sensory processing dysfunction? If so, there is one called "the out of sync child" which basically gives descriptions of the differant sensory problem posibilities. There is a follow up book called " the out of sync child has fun" which is filled with differant activities to do for the differant systems {auditory, vestibular etc} an occupational therapist would be the proper person to see to get an officila evaluation and diagnoses, they can also help you come up with the proper sensory diet :)

Hannah - posted on 04/20/2011




I have a 6 year old son who is hyper sensitive... although I only figured this out a month ago im finding it really quite easy to cope... have coped for the last 6 years. My boy just crys, all the time and over what I would consider nothing... cant do something... sister not listening to him ANYTHING can set him off. Ive figured out if I can make him laugh , change the subject and definatly no yelling then he calms down...FAST. School and Kindy have always been an issue with him... crying waaa waaa but the teachers all told me he was fine when I left just quiet. Hes a bright boy and so loving just needs to be treated like I would treat a sensitive adult, quiet non harsh time and attention. It's not hard just be patient ... I know what your going through :)

Amy - posted on 04/20/2011




My son was the same way at 3, I left him in the daycare center while I went to go work out and when I came back he was in the corner crying. For him it was a traumatic experience and I knew at that point when it comes to new situations we will have to do it on his terms because he gets very anxious in new situations.
When we did enroll him in pre-school at the age of four we called it play school and went to look at it together and talked about all the fun things to do there. We talked about it all summer long so he could mentally adjust to going into a new situation. His first day was fine, he started to tear up but saw he wouldne the only one that was crying and he loves it now.
However there are still situations he is extremely uncomfortable in so we do it on his terms. I don't want him to become so scared about something that he'll never attempt it again. We tried doing ice skating lessons and because they rushed him he refuses to ever try it again so when it comes to learning to swim we have to take a different approach. Good luck it's difficult but you'll figure it out!

Jennifer - posted on 04/20/2011




My 3-year-old is the same way. It's difficult at times, but one thing that has helped us a little, is that my husband was exactly the same way (still is to an extent) and can help explain my son's feelings a little better. Most kids, it works great just to drop them off, and leave. Most will cry for a minute or 2 and then be done. These kids need adjustment time and a lot of it. The first time we wanted to leave our son somewhere (bible study class that was 45min long) I had to stay with him for almost a year. I never tried to leave, or threatened to leave, and once he realized I wasn't going to, he could allow himself to open up. Now, since he knows I will give him that adjustment time, he feels a lot more confident going into new situations, and it doesn't take him near as long. The last time I had to leave him with a friend that he didn't know very well, it only took him 5 min before he was ok with me leaving.

Hayley - posted on 04/20/2011




My son is the same. The only thing I tried which seems to be working is once a week I take him to a parent and child club. So he's ok because I'm still around but there are loads of other children running around playing, doing activities, sports etc. For the first few months he wouldn't leave my side but bit by bit he gained the confidence to go off and play on his own. In turn, it made leaving him at nursery a lot easier.

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