How and when should I tell my oldest daughter that her dad isnt her real dad?

Melissa - posted on 08/14/2012 ( no moms have responded yet )




I have a bit of an odd situation, my oldest daughter is now 9, and her biological father left me when I found out I was pregnant with her. When she was 2, I met my youngest daughters father, and he raised her as his own. He was a great dad to the both of them, and never treated them different, neither did his family. My youngest is now going to be 6. Her father and I separated 3 years ago because of differences, however he was still a good dad. 2 years ago, he started dating his current girlfriend who has a daughter, and they now have a 2 year old together. Almost instantly, when they started dating, he started ignoring my kids, not spending time with them, and just last year became addicted to pain killers. My older daughter has my last name and my younger one has her fathers last name. She still has not asked why they are different, but I feel it is now time to tell her. I am worried because the man she thinks is her dad has been treating her differently over the last 2 years, and I am worried because I don't want her to think"one dad didn't want me and now another dad doesn't want me, that's why he treats me different." I have been in a relationship with my fiance for 2 years, and we are getting married next year. He loves my children, and they love him so the support from him helps in my situation, but I don't know how to tell her that her dad isn't her dad. We currently have Joint Physical Custody, however, I have put in a Motion to Change asking for full custody, giving him lenient access. Please help!

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