How can I be a better parent

Dajanaj - posted on 06/18/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




This is my first time on here.
I am a single mother to an amazing 20 month old boy. He doesn't listen to me at all, never.. It drives me up the wall.
I know exactly why he doesn't listen though. Because I do not give him all of of attention. As a young single mom I need to make some changes so that him and I can both be happy.
He's overall a pretty good kid, just likes to piss me off and push my buttons and boy does he know how to do that well :(
I try to play with him all the time, but he would much rather play with things that aren't toys. I sit down with him and try to color or paint and he gets bored and walks away. He loves toopy and binoo, and the damn show needs to be playing all day even if he isn't watching it, he likes hearing it. It's annoying, and I want it to stop. I try to take him outside any nice day, but once I try toget him inside he screams at the top of his lungs. I get frustrated easily. Also, I'm really bad for getting mad at him for doing something bad, then I just hug and kiss him after cause I hate seeing him cry.
I think my main this is, it's super hard being alone and a single parent. Any suggestions?


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/18/2013




Ok, take a breath.

Your son isn't even 2 years old yet. He is not going to automatically understand what you want him to do, and why.

You need to work on patience (you've already recognized that, so you're doing fine), and consistency. Don't let him get to you. Remember that you are his teacher, in addition to being momma. Everything that he learns at this point, he learns from you, including how to express frustration and anger. He sees you screaming when you are frustrated, so he does as well

He doesn't have words enough yet to explain to you what he needs/wants/doesn't understand. You have to patiently explain things to him.

And, again, he's not yet 2. His attention span sounds about right for a 20 month old. He needs bright, engaging toys, and simple, but engaging passtimes. learning colors, matching shapes, those sorts of things. He's not going to be much into structured play yet.

It would be a good idea to look for playgroups in your area. Mommy and me groups are awesome for getting you out with other mommas that have LO's your son's age. It gives you adult conversation, and him time with his peer group. It gives you a source of advise, and comparison.

DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP!!! It's ok to admit that you're overwhelmed, that you don't understand something, etc. You're a first time momma, and that's hard. (Keep in mind, it's OK to do the above even if you're NOT a first time momma, because we ALL get overwhelmed at some point or another)

You have recognized some of the things causing problems now, which is good. You already see some of your actions that are affecting him, and are seeking to change. THAT IS GOOD!!!

Hang in there, keep your chin up, and remember...breathe, be patient, and all will work out.

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