How can I explain to my son that he cannot be around his father?

Heather - posted on 05/13/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )




I need advice. I have a 5 yr. old son with a man who is still immature and irresponsible. He is there when he wants to be and is out when he doesnt. It hurts my son's feelings. And he is getting used to the idea of being with Mommy more. But how do i explain in the times where he gets upset and sad that he cannot go with Daddy because he is "busy" (because this is what he tells him) and also explain that his daddy isn't the best role model for him? -in 5 yr. old language. AH! so difficult. I really need some help. I do everything for my son. And work my butt off to give him everything he needs. I re-married and my husband provides him with everything his father never did or ever will emotionally & physically. But how can i explain this to him?


[deleted account]

Other than telling your son that dad is busy and you don't know when he will see him..... there really isn't anything else TO say. I wouldn't say a word about his father not being the best role model. Your son will figure that out in his own time.

Louise - posted on 05/13/2011




It is not for you to tell him he has a dead beat dad it is for him to work it out himself. Just nurture the relationship between your husband and your son more and he will soon stop asking about his dad and wanting to know why he is always busy. Then pick up the phone and tell this dead beat dad that he is constantly letting his son down and it is having an effect on him. Tell him you are not making any excuses for his poor parenting anymore and then leave it at that. Your son is at an age where he understands more than you think, he knows his dad is not always busy and that he is being pushed aside. You need to emotionally support him by telling him he is a lovely lad and that you are so happy he is your son. If the father keeps letting him down then restrict his access for your sons sake.


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JuLeah - posted on 05/13/2011




You can't. Honor his feelings and move on. If he is asking about his father say, "yes, I know you'd like to see him. That won't work right now, so let's (go to the park, read a book, have lunch, take a walk...) Be matter of fact and very none dramatic ....

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