How Concerned Should I Be? (Potential "Mean Girls" Situation)

Carole - posted on 12/06/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )




My 6th-grade step-daughter recently mentioned to me that she is on a list of "B's" (B*tches) on a bathroom wall at school. She made a point of coming down while I was cooking dinner and we were alone to tell me. I asked her how she was feeling about this, and she said that she didn't really care. We talked a little more about the topic (she has recently stopped hanging out with one of her best friends who is full of "drama," which I applaud but think may have something to do with the list) and then she headed up to do homework. No tears, no serious anger - mostly annoyance. According to her, no formal response from the school thus far.

She is active at church, in scouts and in several other school-related activities, has 3-5 close friends at any given time and what I believe to be a fairly open, positive relationship with both biological parents and myself. She has no online presence and her cell phone shows no evidence of problematic texting except with the aforementioned drama girl.

I feel like this is a problem, but how big a problem is it? I don't want to blow things out of proportion and be out of the loop if something big happens.

Thanks for your thoughts.

P.S. Of course I'll alert her parents, but hope they will keep it in confidence since she did not ask me to handle this for her but simply aired the problem and seemed to feel it was under control.


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~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/07/2011




6th grade in my opinion is the most difficult for girls. It is when girls are alienated, then best friends again next day. It is horrible for their self esteem, and is complete bullying. I would not hesitate to bring this up to the school. Stop it early before it gets nasty.

Nikki - posted on 12/06/2011




If it were me, I would keep and eye on her and watch for any changes in her behaviour. Keep the lines of communication open so you get a better understanding of how she is feeling and what is happening at school.

If you see any warning signs or feel she is not coping with it on her own I would get the school and the other parents more involved in solving the problem.

I think it's important for kids to be given the opportunity to problem solve these types of bullying behaviours by themselves, having said that there is a point when it can be detrimental to their emotional health.

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