how do deal with soon to be 3 year old with anger issues?

Krista - posted on 01/04/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




My daughter will be 3 in march and she has the WORST anger issues.. if something dosent go her way she will give me a dirty look, scream at me and stomp her feet. How can I get her to not do that? I've given her time outs, spanked her but nothing seems to work.. I dont want to give in to this behavior.. I just wish I could teach her to express her anger differently.. She dosent really understand me trying to explain something to her.. she can put sentances together but she cant have a conversation.. So i just dont kno what to do or how. any ideas?


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Patricia - posted on 01/04/2013




I agree just walk away from it and tell her I don't listen to screaming and you will listen when she can talk like a big girl.

No amount of spankings or time outs help when they get like this. I would also put her in her room or sit her down and tell her this and walk away. I think after she doesn't get attention from you she will stop after awhile.

Ariana - posted on 01/04/2013




Well for me if your child has anger issues I wouldn't spank her. Some kids just get angrier when they're spanked because it's sort of like they feel like they have less control over what's going on and can really resent it.

I would start with trying to do 'calm breathing' excersizes with her every day. Just ask her to take a couple deep breaths with you, try to encourage her to do it rather than tell her. Just try to explain that sometimes when we're mad we need to try to calm ourselves down and breathing helps, don't get to lengthy in the explanation. Do this every day, at times when she's calm, not upset. If she's yelling or screaming (after you've done this for a while) try to ask her if she can take some breaths. It might not always work but it can be helpful in calming them down.

I would ignore dirty looks, but if she's screaming at you tell her you don't listen to people screaming and either leave the room if you can, or put her into her own room and tell her she can come back when she calms down. That way she knows you aren't going to let her sit there and scream at you. Afterwards you can tell her, you were REALLY MAD at me before, I can tell how upset you were. That's starting to give her the words to express herself, but she probably won't actually start saying anything like that right away, eventually it will sink in though.

Like I said, if possible walk away from her and ignore her, or put her in a different room from you and tell her you don't listen to screaming and she can come back when she calms down. Try to tell her how she's feeling (I can see you're really mad at me right now!) but if you say that once and she still yells at you I would do the other things.

For dirty looks I would simply ignore it and for stomping her feet I wouldn't get her in trouble, technically that is a way for her to express herself. It's the screaming that is something she really shouldn't be doing.

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