how do I break my 17 yr old disabled son from sleeping with mom


Jane - posted on 06/01/2011




Any chance you could redecorate his room in some way that would excite him and make him more interested in his own room and bed? That could help with moving him in either of the ways the Chris gives.

You don't say anything about his disability. That could also control why he wants to sleep with Mom. My son is 16 and still wants to sleep in my bed. He is not physically disabled, but he has a number of mental issues, some of which make him act as if he is much younger than his chronological age. I could see how a child with a physical disability might also want to sleep near mom, because he might be afraid of something physical going wrong but not being able to get help.

At this age I feel it is a terrible idea to share a bed with my son since he is physically 16, so several years ago I actually moved out of my bedroom downstairs to my husband's room - he was physically disabled and so could not come upstairs, nor could he sleep lying flat so we set him up in a sort of hospital room. My excuse for moving was that I couldn't hear him if he needed me at night. However, our son followed me downstairs, sleeping on the floor.

It took us a while to figure out what is going on with my son. In my son's case it is a combination of fear of the dark, fear of hallucinations he used to have before his current medication regimen, and fear of being away from me. The only way I have been able to get him to sleep in his room is 1) leave the light on; 2) Buy him new and colorful bedding; and 3) replace his solid door with a screen door so he can have his door closed for security but still be able to hear me moving around.

I think the first thing you need to do is figure out why your son wants to sleep with you. Then you can think of solutions to his problems.

Good luck!


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Blackwood - posted on 06/01/2011




I don't personally know this situtation, but if he does have a fear that something is going to happen or even if you wonder how he is doing, you could get a baby monitor with camera. Show him by setting it up and showing him, you go in his room wave to the camera and let him see you from your room, so that he knows you can see and hear him at all times. Best wishes.

Danielle - posted on 06/01/2011




Maybe instead of moving him slowly out of your room you could start sleeping in his... and then slowly move yourself out of his room.

This way he will at least have the security of having you around while he is adjusting to his new surroundings, and then once he is comfortable then you can slowly start to move your bed (air mattress, sleeping bag, ect) out the door.

Have you tried staying with him till he is asleep and then leave? Maybe you could get a monitor or walkie-talkies so he can feel closer to you, or if he wakes up in the middle of the night he can alert you.

Chris - posted on 06/01/2011




wow I don't have experience with disabled children but I'm gonna guess the same way you would any child. There are 2 ways; slowly move a little bit at a time, next to mom's bed, in the room but away from mom's bed to the hallway and so forth until he's in his own room (had a friend of mine do this) or my recommended is just put them where you want them to sleep, it will take a while for adjusting but as long as your patient they'll be fine after a few weeks, just be 100% consistent. Good Luck, God bless

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