How do I control my anger while disciplining my children?

Ashley - posted on 04/29/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




I try to be a good mom, but i feel like i need help...especially when it comes to my anger and disciplining my children. i feel like i get more mad then necessary for situations, but i dont know how to prevent it. I am so tired of my 5 year old doing things she knows are wrong. I want to go to like a parenting workshop, but im worried people will think im a bad mom. I have never abused my children (I was beat as a child and dont want to do that to my girls) but they do get spankings. I just get very angry at things that dont call for it ie yesterday the girls killed our brand new fish after i told them not to (for the 50th time) try and touch him. I was yelling and made some bad comments. how do i control my anger? I remember being a kid and being afraid of my mom and hating her when I got in trouble because she over reacted in my mind. I fear I am headed down the same path....what do i do?


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Chrystal - posted on 04/29/2012




I never was disciplined as a child and my husband was abused so we found ourselves having trouble knowing how to do it in a healthy way. We use a discipline program called "1 2 3 Magic" you can find videos and books about it at the library. I really recommend watching the video it really helped learn the basics. Since we've started using it we yell 99% less and its much less stressful for everyone in the house. It goes something like this:

Kid is trying to touch the fish

Mom: "Don't touch the fish; that's 1"

5 seconds go by kids still touching fish

Mom: "that's 2"

5 seconds go by kids still touching fish

Mom: "that's 3 take 5 (5 minute timeout in room)"

after 5 min let them out don't talk about what sent them to their room it's over.

The whole thing took less than 6 minutes yet they learned when mom says to not touch the fish she means it. After awhile you won't have get all the way to 3 most of the time. My son usually only takes till 1 to comply with what I'm asking at this point. Since it's such a swift discipline I never get so worked up that I'm yelling. I hope this helps.

Louise - posted on 04/29/2012




I hear what you are saying as I have been down that road myself! What you have to do is make their bedrooms safe. When you have repeatedly warned them, place each child in their room and close the door for a few minutes. Walk away and calm yourself down, when in control of your anger you need to get down to the girls eye level and tell them what they did wrong and why mummy is so cross. Tell them how you want them to behave and end the chat with a hug.

My sons drove me to dispair when they were younger and I would end up smacking their bums and then feel awful that I had lost my temper and lashed out. So by placing them in thier rooms they were safe from a smack and it gave me time to calm down and think how I was going to handle the situation. My sons are now 21 and 18 and we have a great relationship, they even confess to winding me up on purpose when they were about 7ish.

I now have a daughter and I use the naughty step for her, although she has never been and will never be smacked just having the one child is much simpler. Children know how to get a reaction out of mum!

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