How do I forgive myself and let go of regret for having kids too young?

Iamshe25 - posted on 08/21/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )




I'm 24 and a single mom of a 5 year old and a 3 year old. No parents or other family or friends for help. First Let me say I love my children to death and cherish them with all my heart and do my very best to put there needs first. I have just been having a a feeling of I'm not sure what. Of course I'm not where I think I could have been had I not made bad choices and stayed in college and I feel restricted to fix my life now since I do have kids. I can work but only certain hours because of child care and school will be difficult since i have little free time after a work day. I often feel a sense dread or unhappiness every day like I'm serving some sort of sentence instead of joy or peace about my life. Again I love them and I do my mom job well but I feel so lost and I can't find my way and this sense of regret or dread just makes it worst. I feel like I have just made a mess of my life and don't have the guidance or support to accept what I can't change or direction to change what I can. I just sit everyday filled with regret and coulda woulda shoulda. Any advice?


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Nicole - posted on 08/23/2012




1. Having a Baby Too Young

Though they don't regret having their children, some Circle of Moms members say they wish they had chosen the timing better. As Sonya B. explains, "I regret being unprepared to properly care for my children when they were born. I still have problems supporting them the way that I would like, but that is a decision that I made, so I will live up to my responsibilities." Emily S. agrees: "I don't regret having my son, there are times that I wish I could go back in time and party more and do all the things I can't do now at the drop of a hat. I do wish I would have waited." (For more perspectives, see Young Mom vs. Older Mom: Which is Better?)

dont feel down on yourself! i was 17 when i had my first. i feel the same way! so many moms do. this prayer has helped me alot to regain strength!.

GOD grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change. the wisdom to change the things i can .. and the courage to know the diffrence =)

Gwen - posted on 08/23/2012




Is there a parenting, moms of tots, church or other group you can get connected with? Having a support network and a little encouragement can make all the difference in the world. :) You can't change the past, so as the other post said, focus on each day. Make some plans..set a goal. Maybe you can't go back to school full-time or part-time, but maybe you could take an adult education class to get certified in a new computer program or other useful skill. You don't say what type of work you do, but a few continuing ed. courses might open some doors.

Chaya - posted on 08/22/2012




Mistakes are not always regrets There is nothing wrong with having children young. (I was married at 12, a mom by 14, a bio mom by 19 as my two oldest are adopted.) I've done just fine as long as my family isn't interfering with my life.

Stifler's - posted on 08/21/2012




You need to focus on doing something else. I fall into that black hole occasionally . Make a plan for every day get out do things make friends, try to enjoy the years of being a mum with young kids because one day they will be moving out.

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