How do i get my ten year old dauther to take a shower every day?

Pamela - posted on 03/31/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )




I have a ten year old who refuses to take a shower. She doesn't want to I guess because she feels unconfortable with her body. When she does take a shower I don't think she uses the soap because she still has the bottle I bought a month ago. She always tells me that its a waste of water or that its because I don't take a shower every day. I really don't know what to do. I don't want the kids at school to make fun of her and now that she will be going into middle school I know that there will be kids that will for sure make fun of her.


Amy - posted on 04/05/2012




I have an 11 year old daughter and I believe it is our job as parents to teach our children proper hygiene. I have explained to my daughter that people notice when others smell (body odor, bad breath, etc). I asked her if she would want to sit by someone at school that was dirty and smelly? Of course the answer was "NO WAY". So my response.... "don't be one of those smelly people". Maybe you could let your daughter pick out her own scented body wash, shampoo, deodorant, etc. My daughter loves that she smells like vanilla from head to toe. :)


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/05/2012




First, it's very rare, even in the highest oil producing teenage years, that someone needs to shower daily, and in general, it can damage the skin if you shower/bathe too frequently. Every other day, yes, definitely.

But, I ask this: She looks to you for her example. So, why don't you shower daily, if you want her to? Its not necessarily a case of "do as I say, not as I do", when we're speaking of hygiene. If you don't shower daily, but expect her to, that's not really fair, is it? (I must note that I don't shower daily...pits, privates get washed, but shower, no. And, I don't require my kids to shower daily, either. They do every other day, with sponge bath on the off day)

Yes, you have valid concerns about the kids teasing her, and once it starts, it will continue. However, you, as her mother, can give her the tools to succeed! First, you need to address her body image. If it is poor, how did it get there? You need to build her up! Instead of emphasizing negative, (you smell) emphasize positive (I sure like how your hair shines, see how pretty it is?)

So, have you tried taking her somewhere like Bath & bodyworks, or something similar to let her pick her own personal likes for soaps, shampoos, etc? Let her pick her own stuff, and make it hers. If she's got siblings, they don't get to use it, etc. Start showing her, by example, how you'd like her to take care of herself.

With my kids it was toothbrushing...they didn't see us do ours, because obviously, we did it after they were in bed, so we had an argument for months! Once my youngest said "Well, you and dad don't do it" I realized that they need to SEE us do hygenic things in order to understand that they are necessary, and not just mom and dad saying "do this because I said to"

Pamela - posted on 04/02/2012




Thank you for your post. I have told her that she stinks, but she gets very upset with me and starts to cry. She tells me that there is a water shortage in our area so thats one of the reasons she refuses to take a shower. She also has a very bad body image and doesn't like to take a shower because of it. I have also noticed that when she does take one she doesn't use any soap. I am at a loss at what to do. I Just want her to smell good so that the other kids can't use it to make fun of her. :(

Michelle - posted on 03/31/2012




Sit her down and explain the changes that are going on with her body so she understands why you want her to shower daily, but at 10 maybe go every other day until she is showering properly without a fight.

[deleted account]

Tell her she stinks? Though if she's anything like my 10 year olds that will be a code for her to raise her arms so you can get a better whiff. lol

If she is uncomfortable w/ her body (do you know that? Or just guessing?) I think that would be an issue to address first.

You could try making it mandatory that everyone in the house showers every day.

Sorry. I don't have any ideas. I don't have a problem getting my girls to shower (though they usually skip Friday nights) or use soap, but even soaping their armpits twice doesn't help.... Tom's deodorant is my friend. ;)

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