How do I get over the results of a custody battle?

Kylee - posted on 03/24/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




My ex and I went through a 2 year custody battle for my son. I was living in Texas and the dad in another state. The judge ruled custody over to him due to the fact that he has more family to help raise him. Yes, that was the ruling. I sold my home in a week and moved to where the dad is. It seems like he's always getting his lawyer to do stuff. I can't even get the rulings of the papers changed so I feel I have no rights although I see my son equal if not more than the dad. But I live my life in fear of seeing a missed call from my attorney. I am emotionally drained and I just can't get over it. Anyone else been here?


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Ev - posted on 03/24/2014




It is emotionally draining no matter who gets custody or not. Its a toll on all parties but its more of a toll on the kids. Their world has been torn apart, parents have been fighting who gets the kid, and then there is the drama that goes with it with he said/she said and what others have to say or add to the whole thing. You need to step back and take a big breath and let it go and I know it is easier said than done but it does happen. You need to focus on your child and the time you do have together. Do not dwell on why dad has him and you do not; make it about the two of you and nothing else. Also keep in mind that how you disciplined should not change because you and dad are not together. Kids still expect boundaries even during divorce and custody. Keep your head up and smile. Tell the kids you love them and you are there for them no matter what.
On the legal side of things, I do not see how you can not get the ruling on paper. Its public knowledge and your lawyer should have given you copies of the custody and visitation roster already. If you feel you need to take this to court and get joint custody now that you have moved to be closer, do so. You do have rights and you can get joint custody or more visitation.

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I personally have not been here but I know others who have, and it's a terrible thing to deal with. I've helped them deal with the aftermath, and in truth there is no real way to get over the pain and the heartache. Honestly, I'm surprised at the ruling, most favor the mother in cases of custody. The best you can do is try to be strong for your son and for yourself. And don't give up. Get yourself established and settled, and again. DON'T GIVE UP!

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