How do I help my 12 yr old son understand that I will still be his mom once I get married & legally change my last name?

Tami - posted on 08/31/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )




I'm getting married in under 3 weeks & my son noticed that I was already putting new paperwork under my new married name. He is very upset & wants to keep his fathers name, whom I am divorced from. He expressed to my fiance that if I changed my name it would feel like I wasnt his mom anymore. After talking with my son, it also came out that he is worried about what the other kids will think. I explained to him that I'm sure there are other kids with step dads & no longer share their moms new name. I also showed him my social security cards with my maiden name, my first married name & explained that as long as I carried those cards, I would always be those people....but I'm worried it didnt do much good. Any other ideas?


Denikka - posted on 08/31/2011




Maybe explain to him that a name really doesn't mean much.
Maybe use mom as an example.
When he first started talking, he probably called you MAMA. Then as he got older, it probably changed to MOMMY. And now it's probably just MOM. One day he may call you MOTHER. And that doesn't change who you are in the slightest :)

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