How do I live without having more children?

Donna - posted on 01/30/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




My husband doesn't want anymore kids and I do!! We tried for ten years, eight of them I bugged him to go to the dr (my husband is in a wheelchair). Finally got to the fertility clinic and had IVF it took the first time, thankfully! We have a beautiful 4 year old daughter! Our daughter is Type 1 Diabetic, I have once agin been bugging him since our daughter was a year old to have another. He now tells me that he doesn't want anymore cause its to overwhelming with my daughter and her diabetes. I don't know how to handle this, I will never stop wanting another I know this, I have only ever wanted to be a mom. I don't know how to make him see that it's not always going to be a struggle with our daughter!


Liz - posted on 01/31/2013




If your husband means anything to you, you're going to have to get used to settling for one child until such time as he might change his mind without any persistent input from you that he might perceive as nagging. I know in your situation this feels like the end of the world, but really there are so many people out there who are desperate for ONE child and to them you are blessed and lucky.

I'm in the personal position of having one girl and I did wish I could have more but I physically cannot. It was a miracle that I had my daughter in the first place. I wanted to have three children, but I can't, so I got over it. I focus my love and energies on my only child and we have a fun time with lots of bonding. In some ways, I think I'll know her better and be able to give her more quality time and experiences because there's only one of her.

I did try to broach the subject of adoption with my husband, but to him this was a complete no-no. I can't keep pestering him about it, because he's not going to change his mind and will only get more irritated each time I bring it up. It might change in the future, but I need to wait a significant amount of time before I raise the issue again.

You say that you have only ever wanted to be a mom. You are a mom. You have a daughter. You don't somehow become more of a mom if you have more children.

Quit bugging your husband and focus on your daughter. Eventually it will be less overwhelming for you to manage her diabetes and you may find him easier to talk to on the subject at that point.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms