How do I make sure sole custody is okay?

Janelle - posted on 08/29/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




My ex had substance abuse issues and became abusive. He has legal issues and has fines unpaid. I left when my son was 3 and gave him supervised visits. He put my child in harm's way by not using a car seat and driving an unregistered car in an unsafe manner with my child in the car.

He supposedly got clean after losing his job, moving to another province and having no money. I let him visit his son but he could not provide enough food or a safe place for my son to be.

During the day visits, he wanted to drop my son off early and wanted to talk to me more than spend time with his son.

The only time he planned on visiting our place, he did not show and I could not get a hold of him. I have not talked to him in over a month since this incident.

I do not know where he lives or if he is clean. His mom is also paranoid schizophrenic who is unmedicated and I believe he may have the same illness.

He recently started calling and texting me daily wanting to talk to his son. He has threatened to surprise visit my home.

I have ignored him since this last event in which I only assume it is him calling and texting even though he has not stated his name. I am starting the legal process to get sole custody. I know he is an unfit parent and my son would be in harm's way.

Am I handling the situation okay? Should I still allow contact even if it is negative? Will the courts penalize me in denying access? IF this ever goes in front of a judge (due to I have no address to serve papers to) do I have enough justification to deny access?

How will this in turn affect my son and how do I explain why this has happened? He has improved greatly since the contact with his father has been lost.


Jasmine - posted on 08/29/2014




most likley if the court can not get in contact with the father and there is no way of knowing if he is even in a stable place at the moment then all you really have to do is show proof of substance abuse and explain why you think he is an unfit parent. to be a parent is a serious responsibility and if someone cannot provide a safe place with food or shelter then they should not be in possession of a child especially if they cant take care of them self.

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