How do i make the father of my child

Ivania Guadalupe - posted on 10/14/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




The father of my daughter and me we have never got along EVERYTIME we talk we argue and before e would take my daughter every weekend. And then he stop 4months past and her bday is around the corner he calls me to ask if I got plans for her bday I said yea for the 2upcoming weekend celebrating my daughters BDAY and he wanted to take her for the whole weekend Friday,sat,n sun n I told him no only sat he can pick her up early in the morning n bring her bck at nite Well he didn't like tha very much n my reason was because my daughter told me that she didn't wanted to go with him because he stopped picking her up So I can understand that and it hurts me to hear that from my daughter I never talk bad about him or mention him at all , I don't need to cus she's noticing that his not coming around . But how can I make him understand that he needs to earn it and get my baby to trust him n not hurt her again and he ad the chance and didnt took advantage of it so now is going to be my way. Because enough is enough he can't keep hurting my BABYGRL


View replies by

Jodi - posted on 10/15/2013




Actually, possibly one of the reason he stopped coming around to visit her is because you were arguing all the time. What were you arguing about?

Ultimately, he has a right to visits with his daughter. If you have court orders in place, you can't stop him from visiting if the court orders say he can (even if he hasn't been for 4 months). If you don't have court orders in place, then it could be a good idea, given you clearly can't agree on anything. But preventing him from seeing his daughter for her birthday is probably not going to be seen favourably. Maybe you could find a compromise for one night?

[deleted account]

Obviously you got along at some point because you decided to make a child with him. Whether you like him anymore or not, he's going to be a part of both of your lives forever now.

What does your court order say about his visitation? You cannot just go and change the rules without going through the court system because if you do, he can file charges against you for contempt of a court order--you would face fines and possibly jail time and reduced custody arrangements. Have you been filing contempt of court order charges against him each time he doesn't show up for visitation? If he doesn't show at the scheduled time (as noted on the court order), he is in contempt of court.

If he is unreachable for a long time (the amount of time varies by state, usually between 6 and 24 months) you can file to have his parental rights revoked. In most states, you have to make certain attempts to notify him, like looking up his last known address, sending a certified letter, and usually placing an ad in a paper with a designated readership. If he doesn't respond within a certain time (determined by the state) his rights can be removed. Then you never have to worry about him again (but you don't get child support if he loses his rights).

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms