How do I survive "his" children?

Connie - posted on 07/14/2011 ( no moms have responded yet )




This is the second marriage for both me & my husband. We have been married 2yrs. Dad is an only child, 40yrs old. I have 1 daughter (8, who lives with us) he has 2 daughters (visitation @other weekend) & we have a new baby together 7mths old.

His 9yr old (first grandchild) totally controls everything. Dad will not discipline her, or allow anyone else to. whatever she wants, she gets. wherever she wants to go, they go. (he doesn't pay much attention to the younger daughter, 7 or my daughter, 8 or the baby). She (9yr old) is mean & ugly to other children, causes division & is very manipulating. if she is at her maternal grandma's and something doesn't go her way, she calls dad. If she's at dad's and gets upset, she calls her mom (with cellphone that paternal grandparents gave her when she was 6!) She totally controls dad's parents too.She has the best of everything, shoes/clothes, while my daughter & our baby have new clothes, but are not above wearing hand me downs! His parents buy for her, (9yr old) every week at the most expensive stores. They rarely buy for my child & our child. She is first in everyone's eyes and I know that's why she is the way she is! But they dont see it.

Because of the way she acts at our house, I had to insist on them not coming, unless dad would make her behave. He chose to not "make" them come to his house on his visitation. He now spends the weekends or weeks visiting them at his mom's! Where she cooks, cleans, takes them on trips, etc, He doesn't hesitate to tell me that his kids come first..before me or "our" child. He seems to not love any of the girls like he does his oldest one.

He is also very dependent on his parents, even at 40yrs old! If he wants anything, he calls mommy. If he gets in trouble (ticket & lost his license) mommy & daddy drive him around & help pay his fines! Knowing his ticket was for possession!! He does no wrong and still has his bedroom at mommy's! where he retreats to @other weekend & weeks of visits! Leaving me with 8yr old, baby, animals to take care of and all the other chores!! Help! I have done all I know to do, even counseling. He does not listen to anyone, unless they side with him. He can see no wrong he ever does and does not see that he is to leave mom & dad, if he has a wife!! I feel I am the lowest on the totem pole. I have been pushed away so much, I dont know if I care anymore. Our baby was 4days old when he left and went to his mom's--the first time--for about 3months! That was over the 9yr old (prob being jealous of the baby) visiting us and dad not disciplining her!! I know I have rambled and could go on, but would like others take on my situation. I do not want to go thru another divorce!

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