How do you deal with going back to work and leaving child at daycare?

Carrie - posted on 06/04/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )




My 3 month leave is nearing the end. I've been visiting perspective daycare centers and NONE of them seem good enough. I want so badly to stay home with my baby but if I do, we won't have any extra money and I know that will cause additional stress on my husband. I would love advice how new mommies deal with leaving small babies for the entire day.


Tisha - posted on 06/04/2010




I have worked in daycare for a long time. I have dealt with a lot of parents and one thing I have found is that you probably won't ever find one that is up to your standards. It is normal to feel like no one can take as good of care of your baby as you. I would suggest picking the one that seems the best, and then trying to do things like pop-in on your lunch break or if you get off early that way you have more time with you baby. Also, I would look for a center that has cameras that you can access from the internet so you can check on your baby throughout the day. That will help youto ease your mind some. Also, when you do choose a daycare, try to make friends with some of the other parents in your child's class. That way they would be more inclined to tell you if they notice something out of the way when they are in the daycare and you are not. All of this can help to put your mind at ease and be a little more comfortable when you leave your child. Being at daycare probably won't ever bother your baby as much as it bother's you!

Tracy - posted on 06/04/2010




I had to go back to work with both of my kids. With the boy I found a lovely woman who was licensed to care for kids in her home. She was amazing! I wish I could have afforded to send my girl there when she came, but finances wouldn't allow it. So I found a nice daycare that would take them both. Now they are 3 and 8, they know all the teachers there and are very well taken care of by the ladies. Part of me would have loved to have stayed home, but financially we couldn't pull it off. And mentally, I know my limitations, I'm not SAHM with young kids material. There were other reasons I wanted to go back to work, too, and I'm glad I did.
Both times for the first few weeks I made sure I was never without a package of tissues. I cried every day when I would drop the baby off, but it got easier. Especially as they started getting older and I saw how well they were learning social skills. There are pro's and con's to staying at home AND going back to work, you have to figure out which one is going to work the best for your family

Kathy - posted on 06/05/2010




check into home-care babysitters. These women are certified child care providers that run small daycares out of their homes. They are state certifieed. You can find some amazing women that will take wonderful care of your child. The benefit is the personal care your child receives. Do your research, referances of current and past parents, proof of their certification, home tour, etc.. Good luck.

[deleted account]

I just couldn't and I was also concerned with finances So I compromised. I looked at our budget and worked it out half of my take home income would go to day care/eating out etc. maybe I could just work half the time. I was able to convince my employer to let me work from home. After dinner each day I would go upstairs and work in my office till 11pm. Daddy was in charge of bath/bed time. My employer was happy as he didn't have to try and find me 40 hours of work a week anymore.

When we moved to a new city I was able to job share 20 hours a week. We did the same job and we watched each other kids. After she got transfered. :-( I decided we could afford for me to stay home. I coupon now and get some of my "play" money out of the food budget.

Don't be afraid to think outside the box :-)

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Victoria - posted on 06/06/2010




i work at the day care my son goes to. And its still hard. Even though i see him randomly throughout the day. And nurse him at least twice while im there. I hope you have a good expecience!

Manda - posted on 06/05/2010




It's normal to think that no daycare is good enough for your child. None of them will be like home. I put both of my children in home-daycares until they were a little over 1 year old. Home daycares usually have no more than 5 children at the max, and if they do babies only they are usually restricted to having less than 3. I felt that the home-daycare provided my children with better care and more one-on-one time than a facility would have ever been able to give them. Just look around and ask other parents about their daycare situations. I'm sure you're county or state social services department would be able to give you a list of daycares and their inspection records (most likely available online, just google it) so you can find one that is right for you!

Amy - posted on 06/04/2010




I know how you feel my husband works an opposite shift from me so we don't have to do daycare, he doesn't get home till 3 in the morning and I work retail so my schedule is all over the place. Sit down with your monthly budget and see how much money you need to bring in so your husband isn't stressed and you are both comfortable. If you picked up a part time job maybe a couple nights a week would be enough for awhile, that way your husband is home. Is there any grandparents close by to help out my inlaws take my kids when I work nights. Even with my husband home I still hate the idea of going back. I start back in a month my daughter will be 4 months i'm dreading it, but I think it's going to be really hard for my 4 yr old who has been by my side for the past 4 months!

[deleted account]

During the first year of my daughter's life we left her with a family member but the next year we sent her to daycare. It was hard both times but I actually made a game out of it....each morning, and I do it still, I wake her up and say: "wow! we have an exciting day today. Let's get ready for school and see what yummy things we can find to feed our little brain. I think today we will look for things that go....." and I would make a sound. So while she got dressed we would look for what made that sound, on the way to the car we would look for a new sound and when we got to the daycare I would say to her: "Okay now it's time to play a game with our friends. I want you to find one thing today that is new to you and tell mommy all about it when I come to get you later today."

It also helps to have a toy that smells like mommy's perfume with her......she carries a stuffed minnie mouse beanie doll to school, places it in her back pack during the day and then takes it out when she needs it. The daycare teacher told me the other day that when my daughter got hit by another student she ran straight to her bag for her doll and started complaining to

Melany - posted on 06/04/2010




I went back to work when my son was 3 months old. I asked around and visited some daycares, but chose a lady who ran one out of her home. My son was the only baby and I was able to leave work at lunch and go pump and see him. That made it much easier on me. I did not even cry when I went back to work. However, at the end of the school year (I was a teacher), I resigned and started staying home. Yes, it's less money, but we make it work.

Louise - posted on 06/04/2010




If you have to go out to work to make ends meet then you are doing the right thing buy checking the day care facilities. Sit down with your husband and see if there is any way that you could stay at home a little longer. Make cut backs where you can and be prepared not to have a holiday for a while. If you are not 100% with the idea of leaving your child you will not relax and that will reflect in your work. Why not compromise and go back to work part time or get an evening job where your husband can look after your baby. I'm sure something will crop up that suits your needs. xx

Alison - posted on 06/04/2010




If you can afford to stay home and your heart tells you to stay home, maybe you should stay home! Three months is very little still and it is natural for you to want to keep her by your side! I was able to stay home for almost a year and I think it really pays off long term.

Either way, I wish you all the best during this transition.

[deleted account]

I was fortunate to have an extended maternity leave and went back to work when my son was 6 mnoths old. I decided it was in my son's best interest to be in a home-care setting. I had an amazing neighbor who was a teacher, like me. But she took a few years off to be a SAHM, so it was a very natural home setting for my son. He was able to interact with her 2 small children and receive the same kind of loving motherly care that I would have provided. I loved having my son in a home-care setting and did not place him in a generic day-care setting until he was 17 months old. Check out some private licensed home care setting in your areas. Ask for references too. Good luck!

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