How do you handle favoritism in a big family?

Rizzy - posted on 07/25/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )




My BD has a large family so we have gatherings very often. One of his cousins have children about the same age as my son & daughter so they play together quite often when the family gets together. The problem I have is when some of the adults outwardly praises the other girl who is a few months younger than my daughter. One of the aunts has said on occasion, "who's my favorite?" right in front of us & within earshot of me. It irritates me especially since they dress this girl in brand names (she's barely 2 years old) & parade her as if she's some kind of celebrity. It really sickens me & makes me sad that they would act like this & fosters competitiveness with the kids (I.e. who can dress better, sing more songs, knows their ABC'S blah blah blah..). They are children for crying out loud! I know I seem like I may just be jealous-especially because we're not as well-off as they are or spoil our children with material things-what I do spoil my kids with is my time & early education skills like reading to them & basically preparing them for school. I'm not concerned with all of that, I just want to know how others would handle something like this. I want to just avoid family gatherings as much as possible, but they like to play with them when we do, but how would you react to these adult's behavior? Just walk away & ignore it? Or address it politely but risk having the awkwardness that comes along with confrontation?


Tara - posted on 07/26/2011




Honestly if it were me (and it has been) I would address it politely and deal with the awkwardness. Favoritism like that can have a lasting effect on a child - my husband still has problems with self-esteem from being told constantly he was not the favorite by his mother and he turns 33 this year.

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