How i can handle a will full violent child?

Shivani - posted on 09/23/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )




Hi everybody, My Son is 20 months old. He is getting agressive day by day. He becomes very violent if i try to stop him from any wrong thing, like throwing all his toys, bititng, crying loudly. Also he is becoming very will full sometimes it becomes very difficult for me to divert his attention from any wrong thing. Please suggest how i can handle this situation.


Elfrieda - posted on 09/24/2012




I would:

-put the thrown toy away for the rest of the day, saying, "This is not a ball. I will put it away. No throw car. Yes throw ball." Give him a hug while he cries about losing the car if he wants comforting. If this is a new rule, give him one chance to reconsider before taking the toy away, but he probably won't understand until you actually do it consistently.

-hold his hands so he can't hit. Hold him on your lap and don't let him wiggle. Hold him until he calms down and then say, "No hitting." If he talks, get him to repeat, "No hitting" or "Yes, Mommy" before you let him go.

-I don't know about biting, my son didn't do that. Probably some variation on the hitting one, or I would put him down and walk away.

- crying loudly, there's nothing I know to do about that other than ignore it and if you're getting a headache put in earplugs. same with shrieking. The less response you give it the faster it will stop. Unfortunately, if it's happy shrieking, he's doing it because he likes the sound, and it's its own reward. :(

I know my son will sometimes get out of control when he's asking for boundaries. Like, he'll start by throwing a toy, and if I just shake my head at him and sort of ignore it (which usually is enough because he's almost 3 now, but not when he's in that mood), he'll move on to opening the fridge without permission, and then to hitting the cat, then to hitting me. That's if I let it go that far. If he's just misbehaving and misbehaving, I've finally realized he's asking to please be given limits so that he can have a tantrum and get all his emotions out. So I lay down the law, he screams and cries on the floor, then I go and sit near him and invite him to come for a hug, and when he's done being mad he snuggles with me for a bit and gets tickles and kisses and then is a much nicer boy after that.

Maybe instead of diverting his attention, which is good sometimes, he needs you to just say, "No, you're not allowed. Mommy says NO." Let him focus on his disappointment and be there while he tantrums so that he can get all those angry feelings off his chest.

Two-year-olds have tantrums, that's just the stage they're in. Lucky you, maybe you have an early bloomer! ;)

Ashley - posted on 09/23/2012




You need to be firm. Stand your ground. Sounds lime he's hit the terrible 2s early. Take away his toys when he throws them. Give time outs if that's the method of discipline you want to use. Let him have his temper tantrums. Never back down to him though. This is the time kids find out who's boss. Him or you.


View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms