How long should you let tantrums last??

Erinn - posted on 06/24/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )




My son has been getting into major tantrums... kicking, sreaming, throwing things.... Sometimes they last for quite some time. Is there a time frame I should put on it??


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Becky - posted on 06/27/2009




I'm a mom of 3 and my advice is as long as your child is not hurting him self what worked for me was to walk away. Don't talk, turn your back or go in to another room because what they want is your attention or for you to give in. What he has to learn is you don't get attention by throwing a tantum and I'm not giving in so you might as well stop. When my son was 1 and throwing a tantrum, I made the mistake of picking him up and he flung himself backwards. Now I have 2 bulging discs in my back, that was 4 years ago, i'll always have chronic back pain. The one time I didn't walk away. Just walk away!

Natasha - posted on 06/27/2009




My son is almost 2, and I started the naughty mat, time out system.
It took a while for him to sit there (1hr or so) but I just kept putting him back and eventually he sat there for the whole 2 minutes tears and tantrum free, gave me a kiss and ran off to play. I have found each time i do it, it takes less time to make him sit there and having fewer tantrums.

So cute, but yesterday he was getting angry because i wouldn't let him have juice, and he screamed and marched himself to the naughty mat. :)

It takes patience and resistance and as Caileen said do not play into his games, If you try the technique don't talk to him or have any expression when putting him back. (supernanny stuff)

Jordie - posted on 06/27/2009




I too like Caileen's advice... in the picture above I am noticing another little person. Is this his baby sister/brother? I am wondering if the reason behind the tantrums is his way of vying for your attention. If you have a new little one in the house, he might feel as though he is no longer the center of attention. As far as the tantrums though, I would just leave him be... walk away when he starts into it... let him have his space. Afterwards, assure him that he is loved and tell him that it's okay to be frustrated but you are not going to talk to him when he's like that. I know this is a little unorthodox because most people don't talk to their children like they would someone who is older but believe me, they understand and eventually will know that you won't give in and that method doesn't work. I have two kids myself and I'm an older mom... I'm turning 47 this August and my kids are 5 and almost 3. I have found that when I talk to them like they are older, they talk far better than most kids their age! Good luck! ~ Jordie

Hazel - posted on 06/24/2009




That is very good advice from Caileen , As well do not join in his "game " the less attention he gets the quicker he will stop. Just make sure he is safe and can not hurt himself then move away so that you can see him without him knowing you can and leave him to it

Caileen - posted on 06/24/2009




Erin - I'm no expert but with 2 kids of my own and running a daycare out of my home for the past 5 years I have gotten some experience in this area. ; ) I personally don't think there is a time frame. You need to make sure that your son is safe first of all and then make sure you don't give in to what he wants. If you hold out for 5 minutes then give him what he wants because you can't stand it any longer you will have just taught him that what he is doing works. So it may take some time but in the long run you will teach him that you are in charge not him. You will have a well rounded child by setting those boundries early! Best of luck. ~Caileen

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