How much house work and cooking does your spouse do?

Jody-Maree - posted on 06/11/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )




My husband and I work full time (often more than 40hrs a week - we own our business). We have two boys aged 6 and 13. I do 90% plus of housework and cooking. I feel overwhelmed because it feels like the housework / cooking is my 'responsibility'. It seems that if I don't do it, than it doesn't get done. We do have a house cleaner for 1 morning a week - she does the bathrooms, floors (in the living areas) and folds the clean clothes. (Thank god for her!) Just wondering about peoples experiences with 'shared household responsibilities' and any suggestions.


View replies by

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/11/2012




Mine does 90% of the cooking (because he's better at it, and cannot work), 50% of the housework(with the boys and I splitting the other 50), plus his summer business (that we both put in 50/50 effort)

I do 100% of the leaving the house for a paycheck.

I figure it's a fair trade. He's a better cook, and housekeeper than I am. He hates not being able to go to work, but he's got the easy end...The boys are grown, (well, middle school, and just graduated HS), so he gets the best part of hanging out with them, I get out of the house for my sanity, and we're all happy.

It's worked for the last 10 years of our 23 year relationship.

Liz - posted on 06/11/2012




It depends on what my health is doing - I recently had knee surgery and have been plagued with chronic pain in the knees for about 18 months already. Although I work from home (starting my own business at the moment) and my husband works full time, he usually cooks most days. I have him trained to tidy up the kitchen a little bit after himself, but I do most, if not all of the cleaning, unless I am in post-op recovery and cannot. He has to do anything which requires kneeling and also clean the bath and shower tiles, as I cannot reach without hurting myself.

Krista - posted on 06/11/2012




It really depends on what time of year it is. My husband and I both work full-time, but he also has his own business, which is much busier in summer and early fall. So I do 90% of the cooking, but the cleaning is pretty much 50-50 except for summer and fall. During that time, it's more like 50% me, 20% him and 30% the cleaning lady who comes in every two weeks.

Other than that, though, he's pretty awesome around the house. We both have different aptitudes and things that we're good at, so we work with that. I'm much better at organizing, so I tend to take charge of general tidying, because I'm good at finding a place for everything. He's more the type to notice that the baseboards are dirty or that the fridge needs cleaning, and so will take charge of those things. He'll wash the clothes, I'll fold them. I'll scrub the floors and keep our son's room organized, but he takes care of all of the yard maintenance and landscaping.

So it all works out in the end. I'm not sure if it's precisely 50/50, but I don't feel like I'm being made to do more than what is fair, and neither does he, so I suppose that's the most important thing.

Elfrieda - posted on 06/11/2012




I'm not a domestic superwoman. Really not. I'm a good mom, a good wife, and a good social calender planner, but a terrible housekeeper. My husband pitches in quite a bit, just because I've told him I can't do it all by myself and I get really overwhelmed and grumpy. He doesn't seem to mind. (doesn't mind the work, he minds the grumpiness!) I try to improve every year in my domestic skills, but it's all soooo boring. I bake our bread and make jam and pickles, but cleaning..... urg.

We take turns to cook for the week Mon-Fri, one week on, one week off. I do all the household chores except dishes. (what I mean by that is that I *try* to do them, but often he'll take a second look at all the gunk in the tub and scrub it out, etc) He does if I ask specifically for him to do something, but it doesn't happen automatically.

Childcare we share when we're together. I'm home 4 days out of 5, so I do the majority, but he's quite involved.

The only thing I did was accept that I'm not good at the traditional housewife duties and I talked to him about it. I proposed the cooking solution. He likes rational discussion and practical ideas, not snappy remarks and hints. (he considers everything that's not beat-you-over-the-head-obvious to be a strange and subtle hint. I think it's just a man/woman communication difference.)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms