How much is too much makeup or revealing clothes for a 16 year old?

Nori - posted on 04/23/2018 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My daughter turned 16 two days ago. She's pretty responsible and trusting but begins showing signs of wanting to look older. She went through a similar phase at 11 or 12 years old, but this is different. My daughter asks me to allow eyebrows done, fancy artificial nails, crop tops, and hair dye. I allowed her to get nails done and we bought some eyebrow pencils, eyelashes, and eyeliner but discourage her from wearing it everyday to school. I don't agree with kids wearing cropped tops so I said no. She's a mid-teen now, and I have to let her grow up at some point. There's no use coddling her if time will pass by. But I wonder, how much is TOO MUCH and someone under 18 shouldn't be wearing it?

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Beth - posted on 04/26/2018

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Nori: From my own experience, I suspect there are two things going on here:
1) Peer Pressure: Are her friends using makeup, doing nails, and dyeing their hair? If they are, my experience was girls move in a flock. Whatever the other birds are doing, I wanted to do. It wasn't so much that I liked the look, or the activity. I liked the flock and wanted to fit in. I especially didn't want to be teased or sneered at by my friends. Honestly, I don't think there's much to worry about here. I would be inclined to apply a little parental discipline and judgement, but if she's generally responsible and sensible, "... this too shall pass".
2) Increased Interest in Boys (and vice versa): I'll probably get bombed for this un-feminist view, but around this age my friends and I were increasingly interested in boys and wanted them to be interested in us. Even the slowest of us quickly came to realize that boys were first (and maybe foremost) interested in what they saw -- and they especially liked to see skin. We can give our sons as much sensitivity training as we like, but I don't expect this basic part of them to change. Young, inexperienced girls often don't realize what they're dealing with. They'll learn, but you'd like the learning process to be as painless as possible. My advice: It's time for "the talk". Not the one that talks about all the plumbing, but the one that talks about boys and what they want and girls and what they want. I'm pretty sure your daughter won't want to have that talk, but I think you owe it to her.

My thoughts
Beth

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