How to be content as a SAHM

Ashley - posted on 02/16/2018 ( 5 moms have responded )




I think i had this proud plan that was working our great.
get married
buy the house for the biz
start the biz
start growing our family
grow the biz,
grow the family

idk that was my plan maybe?
And i got to the part where we started growing a family. things went smoothly for the most part up until then like this was all meant to be, then idk it just all started falling apart.
I started getting burnt out as a full time wife,new mom, and home daycare provider with this new biz IN my home 24/7 and i could never leave with almost 0 adult interaction everyday, no coworkers, arguing with my husband who thought when he was off i must wanna just chill with him instead of work my job, and then, this new MOM job just NEVER ended of course.
regardless to say it got the best of me. after months of crying and praying i closed still not sure thats what I or God wanted and feeling like a failure but thinking
boy was i wrong. this is even harder. Not that i can't do these things in a day but I'm even MORE alone, being like the only SAHM my age in the county it seems, and still, nobody to talk to, and NOW NOTHING TO DO! i think i may be going even more insane than before!

I've thought hard about just opening my home daycare but in my garage, converting it to all weather of course, so its out of the house (i feel its like my calling) but also having an assistant so i wouldn't be so alone? "paying someone to talk to me" basically how sad. my hubby isn't really on board because of the money it would cost to convert it thought the income is more than beneficial after just a few months

BUT maybe i should just be content as a SAHM....
HOW? how does one do that? my sister in law can stay home it seems for the entire week not speaking to anyone, not even her kids, when i visit on the weekend , she almost looks emotionless, not sad, just i guess at peace, not happy at all in the least bit ever but calm, i almost envy that, i see it in other moms too.
how do you do it?


Michelle - posted on 02/16/2018




Not everyone can be a SAHM, I certainly couldn't for any extended period of time.
Maybe look at working in one of your local daycare centres a couple of days a week. That way you are getting out of the house, looking after children (that you love to do) and even earning a bit of money.
Just because you had your whole life panned out doesn't mean you are a failure if it doesn't happen that way. Life is about challenges and making the most of the opportunities that come along. You may have missed some great ones because you were so focused on what YOU had planned instead of being open about different things along the way.
Stop thinking about your plan and look at what you can do to make yourself happy. Don't compare yourself to anyone else, you are an individual (like we all are) and you choose the path that makes you happy. Just remember that changes are good and they help us grow.


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Ashley - posted on 02/20/2018




Ive tries going back to work at this daycare i used to work at
the deal was supposed to be that they'd call me if they need a sub and i could say yes or no if i was busy that day or whatever and if i wasn't and could come in then bonus for them they have an employee and would only call a few times a month and that was nice.
BUT it got out of hand pretty quick, at the end of shift the boss would start asking me if i was available the next day or the next week because so and so was out sick or has a doc appt and ME i decided to say yes to these, because id feel guilty or whatever i take pride in my work ya know, well then it was like she would ask if i could just give her a month calendar ahead of time of my available days and id end up giving her 3-4 available days a week thinking shed use me IF NEEDED for subbing and shed use me every day sometimes 10 hours a day no break and it was pretty much like working full time and thats whatever i like the work, but the odd hours, the inconsistence and the full time mixed together and then the daycare had the flu going around, i was subbing to SO many teachers out sick with the flu and they kids out with it and id be bringing my two year old in everyday just so i could help this lady out. in the end it was more of a favor for them then it was for me is what I'm trying to say. i quit that job about a month ago and have been struggling bit since.

We did get a puppy though this past weekend. thats been keeping my son busy and myself so its been a much better few days then this past month in general i think

Cc - posted on 02/18/2018




I hear depression in this post, too. There’s nothing “wrong” with you. You are human. Many of us moms have been through our share of depressive states where nothing seems to make you happy. I agree with Michelle’s suggestion to try working outside of your home. I’m also wondering if your day care was literally 24hours or if it just felt that way. Why did you have zero down time to spend with your husband? It sounds like you need to take control over your schedule to make sure you have some down time. It’s rare to find when you’re a mom, but maybe it’s an hour after your child goes to bed. Maybe it’s waking up an hour before everyone else if you’re more of a morning person. Maybe it’s taking a few hours on a Saturday or Sunday to run errands by yourself. Decide what you want and ask for it or demand it from those who surround you. I’d also ask sister in law if she’s okay. She may be experiencing similar feelings as you and may be a good confidant to vent to and bond with.

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