How to bring it up...

Tabby - posted on 12/06/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )




Hi, so our first daughter wasn't planned at all. Lately I've been seriously thinking about wanting another baby... I always wanted my kids to be close in age since I grew up with 2 sisters (1 a year older and 1 a year younger). I loved it. My question is how did you bring up the "I want another baby" conversation?


Laura - posted on 12/07/2010




I am all about open and honest communication: Don't beat around the bush, just do what Annette suggests and come right out with it! If you are sharing your feelings openly and honestly (I would like to have another baby), then your husband will most likely respond openly and honestly. It doesn't matter what he says, the lines of communication are open and any differences can be expressed and worked out. The direct approach builds trust and shows respect for each other, too. Besides, men appreciate a direct approach with information; using this style demonstrates respect towards him better than the questioning, vague approach. Go for it and good luck!


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Angie - posted on 12/07/2010




Your relationship should be so comfortable that just saying, "how do you feel about having another baby" shouldn't be difficult.

Alecia - posted on 12/07/2010




i told my hubby before my daughter was a yr that i wanted to try for another after she turned a yr old. i told him when i was done getting the depo shot and just said "if u dnt want to get pregnant, put on a condom!" :p and he doesnt so im waiting. i thought i was pregnant again (6 weeks without a period and morning sickness) but then i got a full blown period :( but we r still trying. i think the best way is to just tell him what u want. i actually told my hubby before we started dating what i wanted for my future and said if he didnt see that for himself, then we didnt need to date :p so now he knows he's kinda stuck!! lol i want 3 but we might settle on 2 (especially if next is a boy).

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/07/2010




This is something I firmly believe you need to be direct about. You should not fear discussing family issues with your hubby. Simply starting the conversation with "I think I am ready for another baby, what about you" Will get the ball rolling nicely! Good luck!

Julie - posted on 12/07/2010




I agree with the other ladies. After our first, telling hubs I was thinking about another baby was the hardest thing! I ended up just asking him when HE felt we should start trying again. His family is very close in age and mine is far apart. I used our families as examples to get his thoughts. That way you'll know if he wants to start trying now or later. But remind him that you may not get pregnant for a few months or longer once you do start trying... Although you could get pregnant the very first time.

Stifler's - posted on 12/06/2010




I told my husband, "let's have them close.." he said... okay. Then we both said "if the next one is a girl no more but if the next one is a boy we'll go for 3"

Sharon - posted on 12/06/2010




I would just throw into your conversation something like, when our daughter has a little brother/sister to play with, or something along those lines. Then judging by the reaction you get, you can approach how close together you want them.

For us, it was easy as we always knew we wanted the first 2 about 18mths apart, then I wanted always wanted a third, but hubby was on the fence. After our son was born we were going to wait until he was 12mths (oct), then we thought it may take a couple of months so decided on august, then couldn't wait so tried in July, and bingo, #2 is on their way, they'll be 17.5mths apart.
For #3, it's now a definite too, unless mother nature thinks otherwise. It's just undecided as to the gap, but most likely 2-3yrs.

[deleted account]

I would approach it by inquiring about his thoughts on the subject before just outright saying you want another baby. It might cause some major arguments if he's really not into it at this point. I would just bring it up in a casual conversation, maybe something along the lines of "When our daughter gets a younger sibling, we can..." and watch his reaction. Then take the conversation from there...

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