how to discipline my 8 year old who is adhd and throws a fit if there is something that does not go her way.

Christina - posted on 09/26/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )




She sees her real mom every other weekend and on Wednesday. Her mom is a drug addict and alcoholic yet the courts still allow her to go see her mother . I am at the point were she breaks me down i dont want to spank her it does not do any good we have tried almost everything , We ask her what is wrong she says she dont know, we ask her what goes on at moms house she says not a whole lot her mom dont spend time with her she does basically what ever, She had me so upset i was shaking and ready to leave i dont know what to do. She has already been on focalin xr know it is up to 15 milligrams .any advise


View replies by

Christina - posted on 09/26/2011




We have done all this nothin works she is adhd before we
Started meds it was worse and went to mddiator several times and none of what we

Said matter she had supervised then.they let her have her.unsupervised

JuLeah - posted on 09/26/2011




Yah, first of all, this baby girl IS NOT ADHD. She MAYBE HAS ADHD and is effected by it.

But, ADHD is not your problem and I doubt the kid needs meds

The problem is her environment. She is an 8yr old child attempting to make sense of and deal with crazy making adults who don't have a clue about much of anything

Try to see life from her point of view and remember, her brain development is that is an 8yr old. She is not an adult and can not think like an adult

Of course she says she ‘doesn't know’ when you ask her what is wrong ... how in the hell can you expect her to have the vocabulary to express herself around these issues?

Not much goes her way would be my guess and I assume she has learned impulse control from the adults around her

This kid needs someone she can talk to, a counselor who specializes in working with kids and understands addiction

I have worked with so many kids who carry the label of ADHD and their parents want to medicate them, but really, if the environment becomes the focus, if the issues are resolved, when the home becomes a safe place for the kid to be (emotionally) then the behaviors of ADHD that landed them on meds just disappear.

Kids dealing with trauma, kids confused, kids struggling to survive in a crazy environment often behave like kids with ADHD ... and blaming the kid, putting them on meds is often easier then fixing things in the home, so that is what a lot of families do. But she deserves better.

Linda - posted on 09/26/2011




There are two issues here. First, as far as the discipline goes, you need to find something that she really wants. It is different for each child--it could be TV, cell phone, computer time, x-box, etc. Then she needs to know she will lost the privelege of using that if she does x, y, or z. For example, if she has a temper tantrum and screams, she will not watch TV for 2 days or a week or whatever works. (Telling her no TV for 30 years will not work!) :) Then you need to FOLLOW THROUGH and enforce. it. If you let her get her way all the time at 8, she will be completely unmanageable by her teen years.

The second issue is her mother. If that is not a safe environment for her, she should be having supervised visits. This girl clearly has emotional problems since her biological mom is not showing real love to her. I hope you have her in counseling.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms