How to get my 11 yr old son to sleep in his own bed

Pmiller71 - posted on 01/20/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have an 11 year old son who has slept with me since he was 2 yrs old. I have 2 older children who did not sleep with me, but when my son came along I was divorced and in kidney failure. It was just the 2 of us and most nights I was too tired or sick to deal with putting him back to bed repeatedly during the night. It became much easier to let him sleep with me. He's 11 now and cannot sleep in his own bed. He has never gone to bed by himself. He says he doesn't know how to sleep by himself and that he's scared someone will break in during the night and kill him. Two months ago we moved in with my parents because my declining health and so they can help me raise my son and provide a more stable environment for him and so they could help me with every day chores as well as get me to and from dialysis. My son is now taller than me and he takes up most of my queen sized bed. I'm constantly fending off blows and kicks and waking him up to scoot over so I don't fall off the bed. I got him a queen sized bed and helped him decorate his room the way he wants it. Every night I keep the same bedtime routine and I lay down with him til he falls asleep then I go to my bed. However, he gets up several times a night and when he does I take him back to his bed and tuck him in. Usually he falls right back to sleep very quickly, but shortly after I return to my bed; here he comes again! We repeat this process until I'm so exhausted that he crawls into my bed in the very early hours and I don't realize it until morning. He claims he doesn't remember getting up at night and is disappointed when he wakes up in my bed. It breaks my heart because he says he wishes he was a "normal" kid who sleeps by himself but he says he doesn't know how and he's scared. When I do sit next to him in his bed when he falls asleep he continually searches me out to make sure I'm still there within reach or asks me to put my hand on his back. Both of us are sleep deprived whether he sleeps with me all night or I'm putting him back to bed several times a night. It's frustrating because neither one of us is getting a good night sleep in either situation. Does anyone have any suggestions? He's going to be hitting puberty soon and I feel it's very inappropriate for him to still be sleeping with mommy.


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Sarah - posted on 01/20/2016




I agree, at 11, unless he is sleepwalking, it is high time to get him in his own room. Do you close his door? Close your own door. have you discussed this with his pediatrician?

Jodi - posted on 01/20/2016




You tell him to sleep in his own bed. He's old enough not to throw a fit over it. Maybe it is time to seek him some psychological help for his anxieties.

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