How to get my teenager to talk to me with respect?

Brandy - posted on 07/10/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have taken every parenting course available. I dont always follow advice,some things are harder for me to enforce(every child is different) He thinks he's the parent and tells me and my husband as well as our four year old son what to do. He disreguards any type of punishment. I'm at a serious loss on what to do. He sees a counselor and partisipates in a weekly group. Its NOT helping. I'm biting my tongue saying this but I want him out. I love him with all my heart. And it hurts me to say that but I feel that a dose of "The real world" would make him see how hard it is. Of course he cant be left in the basket on the front porch b ut I have considered it,LOL. So since I have gotten all types of suggesitons and none seem to affect him, I'm left with asking total strangers online.WHAT DO I DO???? HELP!


Kristi - posted on 07/11/2013




Do you all do what he tells you to? How or in what ways does he disregard your punishment? He should be receiving consequences for his actions. I'm sure you've already heard that. Set the rules/expectations with a list of appropriate consequences, something must matter to him. Post a copy on the fridge so it's easy to locate and refer to when there is a problem. How old is he?

Are you and your husband getting any counseling with your son? He can't do all the work when there are mental health issues at stake. No parenting class can teach you how to effectively deal with a kid who has ODD, for example. But, working with a professional in conjunction with your son can help. You have to understand why he thinks and therefore acts the way he does in order to help him and yourself.

As far as getting him to talk to you with respect, I'm sure you know you have to speak to him with respect. I don't know what "level" of disrespect you're talking about but unfortunately, all teens are a little snarky sometimes. When your son's attitude starts to escalate, just stop and calmly let him know he needs to take it down a notch. You're speaking to him with respect and you deserve the same from him. If he calms down great, if not...calmly tell him, when he's ready to speak to you with respect, you'll be happy to listen and he can find you in the living room and then you turn and walk away, no drama or arguing. Have a talk ahead of time so he knows what to expect, it will be another "mental" clicker, that hopefully catches his attention when it starts to happen and it will give him an extra second to make a better choice. Improve his impulse control.

Otherwise, I'm a fan of the bitch slap and mama said knock you out! (totally joking!!!)

I don't know, you've probably heard all this before, too. Good luck!

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms