How to handle son wanting his Dad when he's with me

Christina - posted on 05/07/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




My ex and I have been apart for over 3 years and I've constantly been dealing with my son, now 6, wanting to be with his Dad. This is extremely hard because until we separated, my ex wasn't very present emotionally for him. I fought so hard for the marriage to work and when it ended, I fell apart and he got stronger. I feel like because of this, he created a stronger bond with him, which hurts because before that my son and I were closer. I have a lot of anger towards my ex for this, but try and get past it for the sake of our son. We share 50/50 custody and he'll go through times that he seems OK, but the majority of the time, he asks when he's going to his dad's, if he can call him, etc. It kills me cause I miss him so much when he's gone and all I want is to enjoy him and have him enjoy me when we're together.
I can't figure out why it's like this cause I ask my son and he can't explain it. His dad is a recovering alcoholic and has codependency issues that he may be putting on our son. He also has had a handful of girlfriends with kids who take his attention too. I'm hoping if someone else is going through too, that maybe you could offer any advice. I'm thinking about putting him in counseling to see if a professional can sort it out. He seems to enjoy our time together and I know he loves me very much, but it hurts so bad. Please help!


Michelle - posted on 05/07/2014




I had this when my boys were that age. Boys love their Dad and when they are younger seem to relate better. My ex was also more "fun" than me. He took them places that I just couldn't afford. They do start to see through it as they get older. They realize that material things and always getting what they want isn't the be all and end all.
I just explained to them that it was their time with me and they would be seeing their dad in xx days.
They do get over it (mine are now 13 & 10) and enjoy their time at each house now. They even say they miss my house when they have been with their Dad.

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