How to help me from having a sassy 5 Year Old ... help!

Laura - posted on 10/09/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )




A 5 year old who is an only child and can be sassy to my husband and I. He is very concerned that he is pleasing his teacher and coaches, but just not us. It's not all the time he is like this, but more than what seems appropriate. My husband gets even less repsect. He is the "hammer" and I am the "softy." I do hold down the rules, but I give in more and am quick to give a hug with a cry. We are both feeling frustrated because of mainly the poor respect he shows my spouse. I'm at a loss of what to do. It makes my husband feel unloved by him at times. :(


Amy - posted on 10/10/2012




My 6 1/2 year old is the same exact way. He gets so mad and frustrated with us but he's perfect in school. Last year when I talked to his kindergarten teacher about his behavior, she was shocked but replied you'd rather have him behave at school. This year in first grade the teacher has a behavioral chart that the kids fill out every day and my son has never come of the color green which is the best and has been given the "I've been on my best behavior" award twice now.

I do agree that it's tough to hold in your frustrations all day and it's very easy to take it out on the ones we love. I know if I have a bad day at work unfortunately my husband gets the brunt of it. You can try a rewards chart at home. I have also found that when my son gets home he gets 30-45 minutes to do what he wants to unwind from school, if he wants to play we play, if he wants he can watch tv, play games, it's his choice afterwards we start on school work and our nighttime routine.

Amanda - posted on 10/09/2012




The majority of kids misbehave with their parents and are angels for other caregivers.

As long as you have rules that you stick by and have consequences for breaking those rules and follow through he will get the message.

It's hard wor being good all day and concerntrating at school, he's probably letting off abit of steam when he gets home.


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Rebekah - posted on 10/10/2012




These responses are a comfort to read, as I'm in the same boat! My son is 6 1/2 and just this school year has been using more back talk. He has always been generally well behaved, and he also gets "green" every day at school for great behavior. I don't know where he's picking up the language he's using (school, I guess), but I'm disheartened at the change in tone at home. I get that he, too, has steam to blow off after a long day at school, but I'm trying to impress upon him that its not ok to treat us that way. I guess I need to go further with consequences (he'll stop after a threat, but then the behavior crops up again a little while later). Somehow it feels like he can't entirely help it b/c he has some emotions he's trying to sort out, but we need to get off this negative track.

Its also hard because he DOES need downtime, and this year in first grade he has homework we need to keep on top of on a nightly basis. Therefore, I'm on his case through the evening to get it done, since he resists doing it before dinnertime. Ugh! :) I love my boy. I don't enjoy these power struggles!

Laura - posted on 10/09/2012




That's a great point. I never thought about that, with letting off a bit of steam. He's always very concerned about not getting on the "opps" chart.

Thanks for your response.

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